I have to tell this to someone or else..
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| Tue, 03-03-2009 - 3:50pm |
I am going to burst. That's how I feel. Please don't be too harsh after reading this. I can't tell this to sister, parents, relatives or friends because of my repetition.
I come from a South East Asian background. I got an arranged marriage and came here to US because that's where my husband lives. I love my husband very much but there is a big problem, he is not sexually attracted to me anymore. He says that he is not getting turned on anymore. I am not that bad actually, I wouldn't say that I look like a 18 year old model because I had 2 children, but I look ok otherwise, definitely not over weight or anything. I am still in my 20's and work full time.
At first, the problem started like this, my husband didn't want to give me an oral any more. I even came to the oral sex board and complained a few years ago. But after sometime, I accepted the fact and got over with not having oral sex. But he wanted oral every once in a while. Then there is another problem, he refused to touch me in any way(manual stimulation). All he wanted to do is lay down and let me perform oral on him and climb up on top of him. Week after week, it was the same story. He acts like he is doing a "favor" to me by having sex. Otherwise, he is a great husband and Dad. He works very hard and takes care of us.
But I was missing sex so much. I just missed someone touching me, to be attracted to me. I feel rejected, he hardly every notices me these days. There is no use talking to him since he is

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Well I doubt if anyone would blame you for doing what you did given your desperate circumstance. But you should really be careful that your husband doesn't discover what you are up to. Good luck!!!
D.
I read your post last night and hesitated to reply because I am uneasy talking about my own sex life. I have been involved for nearly 30 years to a man who acts the same way as your H. As far as sex goes, as long as he is satisfied, I'm on my own. No oral, hardly any touching, no kissing, you get the picture. I started feeling unattractive. When I first got together with my AP, I thought I could handle it as just a PA, I was happy with that. I craved those feelings you describe. He was happy with that.
Somewhere along the line our feelings got involved. The more we talked, got together or whatever, we became closer. Now, we are in love and trying to figure out how to take the next step. He is amazing, he has given me strength and confidence that my H took away from me.
I guess what I am saying is be careful. I fully understand why you want to be involved with him because of what is lacking in your own marriage. But, when you read the stories on here, you will see how difficult it is to keep your feelings out of it.
Good luck
Thanks for not criticizing me :)
I know I am risking my feelings but I have no other choice(As of now). I don't really want to divorce my husband because he is lousy in bed. Plus, the
Hey deprived,
It sounds like you really needed to talk, but I noticed that you didn't get a lot of responses to your post. If you still need to talk you are welcome to email me. I tried to email you privately, but your profile is set to no accept private email.
That's because I didn't sound scared, confused or miserable I guess. I am just happy! I feel guilty of course, but I think I can live with that. For me it's better to be guilty than sex deprived.
Did you have questions about my arranged marriage or something? Usually people ask me so many questions regarding that.
I know exactly how you feel!!
I believe that having an affair is a sin. Look, u deserve to be happy. If you are unhappy with ur man, just tell him. Tell him that you are willing to work things out with him if he is too. Maybe go to counseling but it seems to me that he is having an affair and has been for a while. If you want to play it smart, hire a private detective to catch him in the act and divorce him on those grounds. He will look like the bad one and afterwards, you can have all the fun you want.
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