I thought I would never cross that line.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I thought I would never cross that line.
3
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 11:33pm
...ok its been almost a month..now...this guy at work and I became friends..we talked about everything and anything under the sun...slowly he has been coming more and more into my life. I don't even remember how he got my cell number but he calls whenever he wants to and talks...I was fine with that..I had to take a fren's son to the ER almost a month ago..when he called and he was wanting to come over and spend some time..I said no b/c it was impossible...with my home situation...so he called me later again..we talked..then he went on a workshop I didn't hear from him..I saw him.(he's sep) with his so..and he was far awar from her so she got angry with him..I kept my distance..it was at a social event so I didn't contact him or anything..so after that weekend..we were teasing around daring each other and he comes over..I was very surprised to say the least...well we kissed etc..He said he couldn't believe this was actually happening...anyways..he was telling me how his r w/her wasn't working etc etc..I jus listened, never passed judgment but when he gets serious about spending time w/me I always tell him to go home..well he kept calling me I never once initiated anything..the last 2 weeks (he is starting a new job tomorrow) he's been persistent..I was getting really nervous..because we worked at the same place I didn't know if I could handle this..lol..then a few days ago he asked me not to call his cell..so I deleted his number..I gave him a ride to his place and he kept staring at me...then we got there he showed me his house we made out..etc..etc..then I left..so he comes over again and says I think she knows something..I kept telling him I didn't want to be involved like this..well he said he would call but he hasnt but I wont call him either...so my question is this...is it too late or am I too involved already to just tell him to go his own way or do what he has to do...etc..I just don't want to be sneaking around or having secrecy..to me its not a big deal I mean either it will work or it wont...so if u have any suggestions.???? I am really hoping his work would distract him..I already told him to leave me alone and he kept saying I can't and now all of this secrecy..I don't know..what to expect from him...like I said I had never allowed mm into my life for this very reason..and now this..prob b/c we were friends first...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 1:25am

Don't forget that you have a huge stake in this too, not just him. You are the one that has to decide for yourself what YOU want. Don't make decisions based on what you think he wants or needs or how far it has gone. It's never too late to say "enough." It sounds to me like you are very uncomfortable with the whole thing so just tell him sorry, you don't want it and move on.

With something like an affair, I have a philosophy that's pretty simple -- if it's not intense and incredible and passionate to a point of making you want something even though it's morally wrong, then it's just not worth all the risks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 9:44am
I agree with Sunny. Sounds like you aren't comfortable with the situation and who knows what will happen when his SO finds out about you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 2:16pm
yeh I agree...and he knows that too because we discussed that before..too..but who knows what rationale we were going by...maybe just the thought that he was leaving...I don't know...we used to talk about everything and now silence...but he's like a drug...well she probably suspects something because apparently she was bent out of shape because I left an innocent vm on his cell..all I said was hey are u at work? call me later..that was all..but she exaggerated everthing..there was nothing going on then...he wanted to sell some tires to me so I told him if they are the right size because I was having a hard time finding some at the time..that was it...but I don't know what she will do...the uncomfortable part for me is the work place but now that element is gone...soooo but its probably nothing....