Absolutely going crazy now!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Absolutely going crazy now!!!
11
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 6:57pm

Thank you to those that read and responding back.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 8:04pm

Lost,


I'm so sorry you are hurting. I understand the pain. I just wish things with the fireman had worked out so you could have forgotten about AP. It really sucks that

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 8:09pm

Thank you to those that read and responding back.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 9:19pm

Wow, Lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 10:15pm

Im so sorry Lost. I know the FF took you for a ride and was hoping that you didnt need AP to fall back on, but old habits die hard.

I cant remember if you had a D-Day- did you?

Maybe the W fell preg when she felt him pulling away and that was a quick M fix. When a man feels guilty, you know the types of things they will say or do to get out of a messy situation. They will say and do almost anything so they dont have to face emotional vomit us females love to spew.

I really do not know what you should do here. I totally understand your attachment to him and if it were me, i would also be thinking of the time invested and how well he knows me. I am not one that likes to get used to new men so i choose to sit on the sidelines and wait also (well until someone REALLY REALLY good comes and catches my eye) I also know that your APs kids mean the world and he will string you out again because there will be the first step, first words first everything that will pull at his conscience with the new baby. His W has him by the balls here and you cant compete with that.

All i can do is hope you decide quickly what you want and need and have the strength to follow through. You deserve happiness too and you are not getting it.

Big hugs and blessings to you.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 10:16pm

Dear Lost...here's another shoulder to cry on..


I so understand how you feel. Even tho i am M, i can relate to the feeling of always being overlooked by AP. Always on the back burner, while impotant things such as family and work are right front and centre. Even tonight i'm fighting with him over that. on text. how pathetic is that? To not even be able to discuss problems in person. oh ofcourse i know why. CUZ WE ARE Not important enough.


Look, i can sit here and tell you to let it go, to not worry, that you deserve better. and that is the absolute truth. but i also know that won't help right now. it helps to vent. here's my vent - i'm sick and tired of being put last and not having the right to a shoulder to cry on when I NEED IT. and to feel guilty for asking because there's other more important things such as family and work.


this A business is total crap. all of it. Feel like puking just thinking about it.


Sorry, i'm angry tonight. so much so that i can explode.


UGHHHHH


:(


Sunshine

.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 11:00pm

Thank you to those that read and responding back.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 12:03am

Thank you to those that read and responding back.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 1:15am

But anyway... I feel like when I heard his voice tonight something heavy was lifted from my chest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 10:20am

Please don't believe that this man is not sleeping with his W and don't let him stop you from dating single eligible men. The fact that their children are 15 years apart doesn't mean that they are not sleeping together. This man has a whole life apart from you and he will tell you what he thinks you need to hear to continue controling your life and getting his cake on the side. His W has every right to have a child from him. She is his W and he is with her because he chooses to be. I know ppl on this board will tell you what you want to hear but you need a true friend to tell you the truth. Maybe you not being able to have kids right now is the universes way of telling you that he is not the person you should be getting pg from. Especially since his W just had a baby. YOU CAN find someone who will value you and treat you special. You seem like a very kind and loving person and you are waisting your love on someone who will NEVER give you what you need. Stop saying that you can't help who you fall in love with. You can control your actions and you don't have to act on something that you know will harm you. You indicated that your AP didn't throw you under the bus. He doesn't have to because you will continue to hide and cover his butt and enable his bad behavior. This man is not treating you or his W fairly. Stop falling for his lies. Just because you and the FF didn't work out doesn't mean that you have to put up with this guys lies and false promises. I know you don't want to hear this but maybe spending sometime alone and learning to love yourself will help you know that you deserve better than this liar and cheater. Take care of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Fri, 11-06-2009 - 10:42am

OMFG!!!!! I am betting my last dollar you would be ropeable with a comments like APs!!!

The double standard he has is laughable! He makes ME mad thinking about it. You arent allowed to see other men while his W sits with the baby and he runs after her like a lap dog? Phooey! The other comment that his baby was the "Mistake he is fixing" sheesh!! WTF is he fixing at Babys r Us?

Have a drink, a good cry and try to figure out if you can do this much longer. He is draining you emotionally and its all about him and "them" now. I have no clue to what is going on in his head if he thinks that he is fixing anything by starting all over again with baby.

I am praying for you to have some guidance here. You sooooo need it right now.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.

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