HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
HELP!!
2
Mon, 11-09-2009 - 8:44pm
Hello all...it has been a couple months since I have posted. I had decided to go with the flow and let AP take the lead on "what we are". Over the last 2 months, we haven't had any opportunities to "be together", but have had several times we have had lunch or dinner or both. See, we work together very closely so it is viewed by others as a "business lunch or dinner". Many times we even split the check. However, this weekend we were with a large group in a town traveling. His wife was there, but my hubby was not. He acted very business and professional, but would stroke my back during pics etc. However, his wife left before he did and as soon as she left, he called me and invited me to have dinner with him. We went to a very nice restaurant, had some wine, had conversation. There was a little bit of business in the conversation, but more personal. Then some of our friends, who would tell his W in a heartbeat if they knew (they know of one time we were together) that we continued called to find out where he was and we went and had a few drinks with them. Conveniently, and not planned, AP and I had rooms on the same floor. When we stepped off the elevator, he very indirectly (so indirect I didn't pick up on it at first, invited me to his room, anotherwords gave me a reason). However, at first, I didn't pick up on it, so I went on to my room. Then I directly invited him to mine. So, he calls me and tells me to come on over. So, I am in there for about 20 minutes...not knowing whether to make a move or not, so I started in a bit slowly. Then, THE PHONE RINGS and our friends that would tell, call and say they are coming down to his room. So, I rushed to get back to my room not knowing what the heck is going on. To me, it almost seemed as if maybe they suspected something. After 20 minutes or so, they never came down, but rather AP had left his room for a bit then comes back to tell me everything is fine, they had just had an argument or something. I asked if he wanted me to come back and he said "no...I am really tired and it is best this time if we go to sleep." Which really was the best decision b/c we had appts early in the morning and it was very late. So, we hug and he leaves. Then he calls me and says he heard the disappointment in my voice and wanted to call me and make sure I knew that he is just tired. He then said "I love you dearly, I am just tired and I think tonight it is best for us to go to sleep. He has never said those words to me. I am getting rather confused. I was a bit spooked by our friends calling, but I don't know where this is going. Sometimes, it is like we are dating as we don't sleep together Every time we see each other, many times it is food and dining. HELP!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: galthinker
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 7:21am

I don't understand. You said his wife was there but left early. Isn't she in the same room as her husband?? The whole time I read this I pictured her in the room sleeping and it, of course, didn't make sense. It also doesn't make sense that she wouldn't be there!

To me it sounds like he got spooked. I sure would have. Those people "who would tell if they knew" were too close and too unpredictable. Better to just stay away from each other in this situation. So not worth the consequences.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
In reply to: galthinker
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 8:54pm

Lexi,
His W left early because he was not going home immediately, but rather going into other markets. She wanted to get back to the kids I guess. I didn't think for even one second about her having been in the room the previous nights. That thought really didn't cross my mind. I am confused b/c I am starting think he is wanting to do a full blown A, but doesn't want to come out and say so. I also am I bit confused by his remark "I love you dearly, I'm just tired, but I had a wonderful time at dinner. I just think it's best we go to sleep separate tonight b/c we have a long day tomorrow, and you have an early flight." This whole phrase confused me. I definitely understand him getting spooked...as I was a little spooked myself. I am just really confused as to what he wants from "us".