Well, lets see...he reached out to you after he took that huge blow to his ego - his wife having an affair on him. So you helped him to live though it and maybe even helped him to stay married to her. Now as he feels better, you are being placed back on the shelf until he'll be bored enough to pick you up and dust you off again. Of when his ego will hurt again. Or when his wife will be mean to him, or whenever he'll feel lonely or horny.
Until then, you'd be left confused, dissapointed and hurt.
Is this the life you wish to anyone you care about? If not, then why do it to yourself?
I feel for you, but it seems way too messy and complicated IMHO. Who needs the drama? Revenge A's - one time a co-worker came on to me bec his W was having an A - but when we actually got down to it he couldn't go thru with it. Guilts, I guess. Big waste of time. Anyway, good luck!
I feel for you too. I know what its like to see the promise of someone who will find you sexy, interesting, and unique. And something I've discovered tho is that the patterns you see at the beginning of any R don't change. Men's behavior remains fairly consistent. Meaning if he's pulling away with "overload" now, then this pattern is likely to continue throughout an A. It does seem overly complicated wth the revenge angle, as well, but ask yourself if this having to stand aside and live with NC when he "needs" it is worth it.
RUN AWAY FAST!! NOW! Take it from me, who fell hard, only to be devestated over and over. It will be heart-breaking, believe me. My H is a great guy, just bad sex and no physical attraction. I was so consumed with my AP and A it took over my life and I am trying to go on now without him because it was eating me up inside. Yes, if you meet him it will be AWESOME - I can practically guarantee you that. But the downward spiral that will follow will take ALOT of pain and time to get through. I don't mean to be so negative but I posted here once looking for advice, didn't follow it but if I did I would have saved myself and my H a lot of anguish and devastation. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Well, lets see...he reached out to you after he took that huge blow to his ego - his wife having an affair on him. So you helped him to live though it and maybe even helped him to stay married to her. Now as he feels better, you are being placed back on the shelf until he'll be bored enough to pick you up and dust you off again. Of when his ego will hurt again. Or when his wife will be mean to him, or whenever he'll feel lonely or horny.
Until then, you'd be left confused, dissapointed and hurt.
Is this the life you wish to anyone you care about? If not, then why do it to yourself?
Love,
GbG
I feel for you, but it seems way too messy and complicated IMHO. Who needs the drama? Revenge A's - one time a co-worker came on to me bec his W was having an A - but when we actually got down to it he couldn't go thru with it. Guilts, I guess. Big waste of time. Anyway, good luck!
-jana
I feel for you too. I know what its like to see the promise of someone who will find you sexy, interesting, and unique. And something I've discovered tho is that the patterns you see at the beginning of any R don't change. Men's behavior remains fairly consistent. Meaning if he's pulling away with "overload" now, then this pattern is likely to continue throughout an A. It does seem overly complicated wth the revenge angle, as well, but ask yourself if this having to stand aside and live with NC when he "needs" it is worth it.