My friend's soap opera

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2008
My friend's soap opera
6
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 8:42am

My friend wants me advice but I have no idea what to tell her. I thought I'd post here to get a few opinions.


My friend is involved with a married man who she's known for 17 years, but only been seeing that way for about 4 months. She is also friends with his wife who I'll call Jane.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 9:23am

Wow...I guess your friend needs to figure out what she will earn by saying anything to her AP and to be prepared for the worse. She has only been involved in the A for 4 months which I kinda think is a honeymoon stage (for some people). I think in any situation you have to out weigh the pros/cons. How many people know that Jane is having an A? If she (your friend)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 11:41am

Wow! What a messed up house! If both the H & W of the same M are having As (too many abbreviations lol) then it seems to me that neither are great at communicating or are concerned about the M itself.
Maybe what they both need is a wake up to the fact that they are both cheating on each other then they can make the rational decision to either move forward or D. I think they should both be alerted to the As even if that means your friend gets left. At least that way they are both starting from square one where neither H or W are better or worse in this drama.

I know a friend that had an A and she found out her APs W was doing same and she met up with H in the same area as his W. The H saw the W with HER AP and went home and moved out. (Yes double standards- he was more upset that she cheated than him) It may go to your friends advantage in that respect.

I think either way, you will need to be a good friend until this is all played out.

Good Luck.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 2:00pm
What a weird situation for the H to see the W with her AP lol. That would be such an awkward situation. Soo did your friend do that on purpose soo he would see his W?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2008
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 2:16pm
To be fair to the H and W, they are separated. And, the H (my friend's AP) is a jerk. The W is in love with her own AP, but he can't bring himself to leave his wife and kids. My friend's AP wants his W back and is just hanging out with my friend (I'm pretty sure) for sexual purposes until his W wants to have sex with him again. That's how it seems anyway. So weird. I think my friend is worried that once the W agrees to a sexual relationship with her H again, my friend's AP will cut her off for good. That's maybe why she wants to blow the whistle on the W.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 2:45pm
Everything you just said completely makes sense. Seems like your friend is looking out for her own needs but it might all backfire on her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 5:39pm

My GF knew not the H so he was not aware of her A until seeing his W & AP together.

I agree with Dark here, Mom. If your GFs AP is a jerk, then maybe it would be better that she knows it now rather than be crushed when too much further down the track. Just be a good friend and wait to pick up the pieces.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.