What? Confused...
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What? Confused...
| Wed, 12-09-2009 - 3:22pm |
I am new to this site and am not too sure what I am looking for.
| Wed, 12-09-2009 - 3:22pm |
I am new to this site and am not too sure what I am looking for.
Sorry to hear that you are in such a mess bitsy.
It may be that his W is using the kids as leverage. If she doesnt want him to go, she knows that he returns for the kids' sake. Any man worth his weight will always put his children before himself so he is probably trying to do the right thing (in his mind) for them. I dont think its as much to do with you personally, but the thought of losing his DCs. He has proven that he is willing to get caught- especially if you have had 3 DDays, i am sure he will be back when he feels its safe enough.
In this situation, you may have to wait for him to get sick of his broken M and make a move himself. If he is always going to go back to her because of the DC's and you think he has to choose and so does his W, you may end up alone. Men can be so stuck in a rut of obligation that they would rather peace and unhappiness than being the bad guy and doing what they want and leaving. Any pressure will make them cave if they are not strong enough to make the change themselves. Its not that hes cake-eating, rather he is fighting his conscience.
Good Luck.
SB
Bitsy - after 11 months in my affair, you are the first poster that I think is in the same boat I am in.
We have had 3-4 DDays, and after each one, she sucks him back in. because of his kids, because he's afraid to make that move, because he is insecure.
You have my total empathy. Right now I am struggling too with what do I do? He says he's miserable, what is SOOOO difficult to understand to change one thing means no misery?
I would love to talk to you outside MAS, IM maybe? to commiserate, brainstorm, and be someone who can support each other, that understands, he really is a good guy, it really is love between you and him, she just knows how to beat him down to change his mind.
I would love to talk to someone with similar things going on!!