Where is your head at???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Where is your head at???
5
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 12:08pm

Hi All...


I was sitting here thinking about all the people in a marriage that are having an affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 2:26pm

I'm not with my OW (MW) because I believe all things considered my wife is a better match for me. The highs I would have with AP would be like I never experienced before, but the passion that would lead to those highs, and many other incongruencies, would lead to the destruction of our real world A. (3.5 years now). I strongly agree with the EAS site where they say Affairs exist in a fog, yes the feelings are real, but they would drastically change if brought into the real world. If I left my DW and kids, I believe I would trade one list of unhappiness for another.

There are also 5 children involved.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you, but maybe your xAP is a much better AP than a DH for you. Did you have a DD? Did you just tell DH goodbye? Did your xAP lie to you? Have you begun dating? do you have children.

I'm always interested to hear views from my AP's perspective.

"You Cant Lose What You Never Had" ---

Muddy Waters
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 3:58pm

To answer your questions...


I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you, but maybe your xAP is a much better AP than a DH for you. Did you have a DD? Did you just tell DH goodbye? Did your xAP lie to you? Have you begun dating? do you have children.


Well deaf...


We had a DDay...I think thats what you wanted to know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 5:55pm

Hi bitsy! I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I think a lot of people on this board are in happy M's believe it or not. My M is very happy. I love my H. I want to want him as much as I want my AP, but he and I have problems in that department. So, I am with AP for sex. I do have feelings for AP, but I don't want to be with him like I do my H. If we were together I know exactly what would happen. We would argue and fight like cats and dogs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 9:11am

I'll try to answer this for you. When my A began, both of us were married, lacking that something in our marriages that brought us together. We started out as FWB. But emotions soon came into play. We never told each other we would leave our M's. We learned to not be jealous about each others spouse, us being with our spouse was a given, how it was from the beginning so we accepted that we went home to our spouse and had to be intimate with them.

~Layla~
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2009
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 9:09pm

I lurk on this site a lot and this caught my eye.