Heartbroken beyond belief
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Heartbroken beyond belief
| Wed, 12-16-2009 - 9:16pm |
Here is the story. I will try to make it as short as possible. My wife began a new job in January. She is a sales person. She is 35. A man in the warehouse "Bob", who is 60 and married and recovering from open heart surgery "takes her under his wing". She would come home talking about how nice he is and how he has a daughter name "Jane" also. Soon, it starts out with text messages and phone calls of a harmless nature on weekends and after hours. I became upset and told my wife. She agreed it should end. I find out, it did not end and it only become hidden. She admits they are still talking after I confront her, but that it has settled down to work related things and jokes. Proceed to last Friday. A certified letter arrives at the house from "Bob's" g/f. It included a stack of emails and a letter. I won't go into details, but they were of an inappropriate nature. "Last night was wonderful, you make life worth living", "It was so great to come home and find you sitting on my steps", "Thank you so much for the love we made last night". First she denies it and tells me that they were altered and hacked. So, I go to our bank statement and look over the last year. What do I find is 3 charges to the Holiday Inn and one to the Comfort Inn in town. With this information she finally admits it. We cry and cry and cry. We run to our marriage counselor, and she cries how sorry she is and how each of the four times was horrible and she felt like a piece of trash and so used. She proceeds to tell me that it ended in August and it was just those four times. I am beyond heartbroken. She tells me it was the worst mistake she ever made and since this man's wife made him call everyone at work and his family and admit it, he threw her under the bus and now she is devastated at the embarrassment at work. Everyone at her job knows. How do I cope with the feelings of sadness, rage, anger, hatred, shock, etc., etc. Part of me wants to hug my wife hard and love her and the other part wants to destroy her world. I also want to say that I want to go to this man's house and cut his head off. It is so to the point that this man hasn't shown up to work in two days and is staying at a friends house. Somebody help me.

Im so sorry you are in this situation Luigi. I feel for you and what you have gone through finding out about the A.
I feel this may not be the board for you as this is for people in affairs. The Betrayed Spouses Support is the place is where you can converse with others that have BTDT and suffered through the same grief. Heres the link:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rladultery
Also here is the link to the healing library (Half way down the page)that you would probably find something useful to help you in your journey of understanding and forgiveness as it is clear you love your W and want to get through this with her.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending
I sincerely hope you manage to pull through this rough time.
SB
Luigi32x,
First, I agree w/sometimesblue that Betrayed Spouses or Life After Betryal (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhealingaft) will help you more than this board.