Merry christmas -how will you cope.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Merry christmas -how will you cope.....
14
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 12:33am
Merry christmas to you all and how will you cope if you can't see your affair partner on christmas day. i know it was rough not being able to see ex-mm on christmas day. for s. o. w., i believe in my opinion,that it can be rougher than m.o.w. cause at least m.o.w. have their husbands to be with them on christmas day but single ow will have no other partner to be with them. how do you all cope with this situation? oh this question also goes for mw with single men.
k2002
k2002

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 11:51am

What a killer question. Even though we're friends only, i still care deeply and to see the happy pics ALREADY pasted on FB and blurbs about how wonderful the gifts are is quite hurtful. I came here to vent so i didnt make a huge blowout elsewhere and start something terrible. I think this will be the straw that breaks the camels back when it comes to the beginning of the end of even friendship. I know he is working on the M, but the phoneyness of this is cutting to the core.

I know things are not perfect between XAP & W but the holidays are so farcical when it comes to him playing happy. I know that Christmas is a time for family, but when a week ago things were crap, and things will be crap in another week so the public broadcasting of smiles and fun is irritating me a lot.

Other than that, mine is quiet and uneventful so far. I hope everyones goes along swimmingly and you all get what you asked Santa for :)

Merry Christmas.

SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 1:36pm

Merry christmas to you too k2002 ~ and everyone!

I didn't know what I was going to do to cope. As it turned out, AP spent the night and a good portion of this morning with me. It was a wonderful end to what turned out to be a pretty good christmas.

I got to see DS & granddaughter, spoke with DD for a goodly time...everything worked out fine, I feel very lucky.

benska




Edited 12/25/2009 5:53 pm ET by benska2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 8:04pm

Happy holiday!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2009
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 2:16am

I know that Christmas is a time for family, but when a week ago things were crap, and things will be crap in another week so the public broadcasting of smiles and fun is irritating me a lot.


I wonder how you can tell your AP is telling the truth when he says everything is crap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 9:48am

Hi S&G. I guess i dont know he is lying, but i have known him over a year and know his mannerisms and tones. He doesnt come out and say he is sad/angry/unhappy, but when you know someone very well, you only need to hear the tones and listen to words they use.

We are never going to be togther so i am not thinking he is keeping me hanging for sympathy as i dont give him any. We talk about general things such as the DCs escapades and work, health etc. I will not ask directly about personal things as i dont want to know anymore.

SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 2:08pm

Well for me it wasn't lonely as my DS and I went to my parents like we always do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2009
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 6:52pm

feeling like my whole future is based on what he does or doesn't do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Sat, 12-26-2009 - 7:05pm
Yes, you are quite right ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 12:14am

"please, no peanut gallery comments here...I know I am choosing to put myself in this position)."

don't worry my dear. i sense you are frustrated. i totally understand. some of them like to pretend that things are so rosy, when NOTHING IS GOING ON AT HOME. I am an ex-ow and trying to make sure that it REMAINS THAT WAY AND I DON'T GET BACK INTO BEING THE OW AGAIN. but sometimes it is not so easy. there is a man who is a friend of mine who is married. we used to attend the same church. we actually like each other but are not involved. in fact, the feelings are strong. he and his wife have nothing going on, but based on things i see happening, it is just appearances. i have been told by friends that things are not so hot, but from what i see publicly, it is all appearances and pretence. he is senior in the church and he told me if it was not for the church, he would have left a long time ago. i am not involved with him, but we have strong feelings for each other. seems like he is not ready to leave as he said he is in limbo.

will say more tomorrow. getting late. the woman loves the money so she doesn't seem to be going anywhere soon. i know HOW ANNOYED YOU MUST BE. same thing with the other poster who you quoted. will talk to you guys tomorrow. look out for me.

k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2009
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 1:27am

I had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Day. I saw my lover on Christmas Eve early, just like last year. It was beautiful and just what we needed--our escape from the hustle and bustle.

I enjoyed my wonderful grown children...we all showed our love for one another throughout the day, and evening...it was truly a blessed day and night.

I saw my friends and family. I kept busy around the home. I worked today...went out dancing tonight.

My lover called me three times on Christmas Day. It was nice but not expected. I know our love is true. I have no expectations of him leaving--I respect his children are very young. I know he is not
married still because of love. It is what it is.

Tomorrow we will be together and i will love every minute..we are meeting up we his friends and my friends for football Sunday.

He told me Today those few hours together on Christmas Eve were the most relaxing part of this Holiday Rush. I know it was. I see how much he gives to all in his life--he does the same for me.

I love him very much and I just wanted to say I cope because I draw strength from our love. I know it is real and I am grateful I have him in my world--he is a true friend.

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