New to it all

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2010
New to it all
5
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 7:29pm

I hope I get all the abbreviations right, I didnt find a key, but have a few figured out from reading your posts.


Im on my second marriage, collectively Ive been married 16 years and Ive never had an EMA until now. My AP(?) is a MM and someone I dated briefly and casually 8 years ago, when we were both single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: itsmycake
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 11:52pm

Welcome to MAS, cake:)


Your story sounds similar to mine.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: itsmycake
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 7:35am

Sounds like you have an EA (emotional affair) that's turned into a PA (physical affair) so it's now both. "AP" is affair partner. Here's a link to the "abbreviations" board but you did good!

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=56065.1&x=y

A lot of affairs seem to start at the 15 - 16 yr. mark. My first one was at 15 years of marriage. They say there's a 7 yr. itch, but maybe there's a bigger one at 15. I have no advice for you, but you didn't ask for any, and this place is for plain 'ole "sharing" as well as for seeking advice.

Welcome to MAS itsmycake. This is a unique place for sure. Hope to see you posting more. :-)

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: itsmycake
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 6:31pm

Shame?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2010
In reply to: itsmycake
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 1:46pm

Thanks for the welcome!


@anotherseyes, yeah

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
In reply to: itsmycake
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 2:47pm

Welcome, itsmycake :)


I'm a MW seeing a MM...went to T (therapy) for a while during a period when I was trying to end my A...long story, but re: the guilt or lack thereof: I was bawling in T feeling guilty over not feeling guilty! T said it is very common for women in A's not to feel guilty...particularly if we feel we "love" AP...it's a defense mechanism that causes us to justify our actions :) That bugs me a little, too, but I do love him, so I'm working through that.


And what the other poster said about that cocaine high in the beginning...SO TRUE :) It can run things off the track pretty quickly -- pretty sure that's what happened the first go-round w/ me and AP. We're about 2 months into "starting over" and trying to "ground" all of it so as not to let the emotions carry us (mostly me LOL!) away :)


Glad you're here!