What Does This Mean? No Sex With AP

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
What Does This Mean? No Sex With AP
18
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 11:39pm

In the two years I've been with my AP (he's married and so am I), he's never actually done "it" with me.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 7:09am

He's probably one of those guys who thinks that only IC indicates "sex" (think Clinton). So it makes him feel better that he withholds that from you - that it really isn't an "affair" if you're not having IC.

How does it make YOU feel? If you're ok with it, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm one of those people that loves to have non IC sex (don't get me wrong, IC is nice too LOL) but to me sex is sex and there are things way more intimate than IC.

He's fooling himself about the significance of IC but if it makes him feel better this way and if it doesn't bother you I wouldn't worry. If it DOES bother you, maybe you need to have a talk with him.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 3:11pm

Your post reminded me of myself in the first months of my A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 11:47am

Thanks for your insightful answers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 9:40am

hmm this is hard to give an answer/opinion to this

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 12:44pm

Ok, thanks Lizzie - see if you can read more from additional details.


We share work and solid

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 6:39pm

Mogul,


Not reading between the lines but the actual lines you wrote...I think it is really dangerous to think that you know him as well as you think you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 12:22pm

Hi Lizzie


I delayed replying to your comments as I felt that your response was quite harsh and borderline mean spirited.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 3:01pm

MM here in an AP with a MW.. btw, I like your nick, do you ski?

To answer your question.. what does this mean? Why would a man get so close yet not complete the circle, as it were?

I've done that in my past, and the only reason I had, along the lines of not wanting to hurt someone, is that I was not that deeply emotionally involved. I enjoyed the friendship, the attention, and everything else. And being a man, I enjoyed the physical attraction she had for me. But, I could never get myself feel attracted enough to have a full physical relationship with her.

So, my answer would be, in so many terms, he's not that into you, when it comes to what a sexual relationship would involve. But the friendship and sharing you have, he enjoys that a lot.

The reason that I don't think he's backing off due to any other reason is that he's already participated in "other" past-friendship physical activities. He likes everything about what you share, but his emotional committment in his heart isn't deep enough for an PA.

Try just keeping it at a friendship level and see how that works for him. If you truly want to have someone in your life that you'd like to have an PA with, he's not that person.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 8:51am

nevereasy...I (MW in an A w/ MM)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 12:35pm

Yes, I'm a skier, since you asked!

Pages