Am Torn; Don't know what to do.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Am Torn; Don't know what to do.........
5
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 4:45pm

I don’t even know where to begin; guess I will start with a little about my story;


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 7:34pm

That's so tough crazygirl!

I'm definitely a crazygirl in this A too. How can we not be?

I totally get that wanting him but not. Knowing that the A hurts you but it feels like you can't live without it. And then the fact that you work together makes it soooo much harder.

I work with my AP right now and the up and down, hot and cold of our interactions is excruciating.

On the one hand, if you stick by your 'it's over' stance, it will be horribly painful for now but you will probably work through it. But on the other hand, I know how hard it is to give up these As, and I know that I wouldn't even follow my own advice currently.

I don't have any great advice to say except I feel for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 12:38am

Basically, I see that you have two choices in front of you. One is to succumb to your feelings, hit him up, get back into the affair, have it eventually end (which it will), and have to go through these feelings anyway, only much worse because you were involved that much longer. Or two, go through these feelings and come out the other end, being totally free of this man. Which one will it be for you? Because the reality of this man is that you are not his first affair. He's been down this road before, and because of getting caught, now the stakes are even higher.

This thing with him WILL end....question is how much misery are you willing to put yourself through?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 2:02am

I think your main struggle can be distilled down to this:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 8:31am

You've gotten good advice crazygirl, and various points of view.

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 11:45am

Thank you all so much for your input; definitely some “food for thought”. You are so right with all you’ve said (all of you). I have pretended to be a way that I’m not, I’ve pretended to be okay with how things are with us, with just casual sex, FWB and as if I’m made of steel for the most part, in a way catering to his “wants and needs” and also trying to tell myself “it’s nothing” when deep inside it is.