he's gone on vacation

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
he's gone on vacation
5
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 11:38am

ugh...well we knew it was coming. He left for the beach for a week...then he's home for 2 days and then gone on his 10th anniversary trip for 10 days with the wife only. Not worried about the beach trip persay but the 2nd honeymoon trip just eats at me. Terrified he'll come back and want to call it quits.

I've been teasing him about it and then Friday we had coffee before he left and I just ask him (twice actually) if he was going to change his mind about us. He said no...I'm not. But I still feel sick. He's doing all the right things...calling...said he would text me while at the beach...he's trying. Doubt I will see him between trips, not even sure if I want to make myself available. I want him to be nervous too!
I can't imagine him not being in my life anymore...4 years! How do I get through this without making an ass of myself?

chechi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 1:41pm
Why a second honeymoon???
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:19pm
Please tell me you meant 10 YEARS
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:59pm

I'm calling it a second honeymoon. He's not. Their 10th anniversary was last November, she planned a trip to Spain for them and her best friend and her husband,,,,then the best friend backed out. She invited other friends who my AP does not like the H. So it was a fight. Then they started MC and the C told them to go on the trip ALONE. Thats when this really started to bug me. I want him to have a good trip. He deserves it, he works really hard. BUt not too good if you know what I mean.

I asked him "what would happen if he had a great time, like all the sudden they had a great sex etc.."

He said "it would be hard to continue then."

BUT he laughed and said" that's not all the sudden going to happen after no sex for a year and minimal sex for 7 years of their 10 year marriage...things were not going to just change over night."

Then I asked "well what if it goes badly, like no sex? " he said that he would "probably not be staying married much longer, "

A lot of pressure on the trip if you ask me. Not sure how to handle it. Alot of it is none of my business I know. And he's been as reassuring as he can...for him. I just feel sick wondering what is going to happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 4:45pm

((((Hugs)))) chechi!


Honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable with it, either.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:36pm

90% of what we worry about doesn't happen, and most of the 10% that does happen isn't improved by us worrying about it beforehand!

I know that pointing that out probably won't make you worry less but maybe it can help if you keep telling yourself those statistics :-)

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