Swinger club????????
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| Tue, 06-08-2010 - 6:30am |
Ok this is out there!
So AP and I are going away for 2 nights next week (yay). He always books an amazingly lavish place with views and sauna and its beaiutiful!!!
In the 14mths we have been seeing each other, we have enjoyed great sex. One of the things he likes so much about our A is our openness about sex and sexual fantasies. But he is a bit of a prude- I took him to an adult shop (he asked) and he was sooo uncomfortable- never seen those things before.
Anyway he and I have often fantasised about being watched etc but of course never done anything about it. A few weeks ago he started talking more seriously about it and now he actually wants us to go to one. There is a classy one in the city where we will be staying that has very strong rules about just playing with your partner until and if you are ready.
He likes the idea of this and if we do go- he wants no kissing etc. But I just dont know. Its always been a fantasy but never thought of actually doing it. I mean it appeals on some level as a one off thing to tick off my 'life list' but Im not sure.
I want to talk to him tomorriw and make it clear that I may not do this thing. But I dont want to make too big a deal- my experience with him is that he doesnt really want to do it but doesnt want to be the one who chickens out. I think my only option is to be honest and if I lose him over that- well we werent a match anyhow- ouch!
But my main fear is that I would walk into this place and they say- whoaaa fatty! We dont let fa chicks in here- yes Im having a fatty day- ugh.
Well there it all is- thoughts??
Thanks xx

If you really want to try something like that, how about deciding ahead of time that the first time, you'll just "watch" other people. That will take the pressure off him and allow him to enjoy the experience more if he knows you won't be trying to be "seen" LOL. I think he'll also know, being there in the situation, if he could ever possibly go through with the "being seen" part on another visit.
One thing - you would have to honor whatever his decision is in terms of the future possibility of being "watched". It has to be up to the less comfortable one as far as that goes. It's never good to push someone too far past their comfort level - it could make him disgusted with himself if you push him too far. Let him decide how far he wants to go with this fantasy.
Also, there's a "sexual taboos" thread somewhere on ivillage where you could talk to people who have pushed their limits on sexual things - you might get some good insight from them. I found it - here's a link:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rltaboos
I wish you luck! Whatever you decide, have a good time when you're away. :-)
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Thanks Lexi;)
I think neither of us are really sure- and it may all be better left as a fantasy. I was just surprised (and somewhat hurt) by his quick turn around in wanting to experiment.
But today he was very meek and pulled back a lot! I think he was embarrassed about getting carried away. Today he is not so sure about it all- which suits me too :)
We'll see I guess.
I don't think you should feel hurt. I think you should feel really good that he trusts you enough to share a fantasy that he'd like to be real (or tentatively thinks so anyway). Not many people trust their partners enough to share things like that - there's the fear of being seen as "perverts" or abnormal.
Even if both of you decide that it's better left as a fantasy, the fact that he shared it means that you can "play" with the idea in fantasy and it's bound to spice things up LOL.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Very true Lexi- you are a good friend :)
Saw him today- and yes he is totally embarrassed about all the texting the other day and the fervour with which he wanted to try a Club.
Today he is back to his semi-prudish self and I am happy :) I asked him to always share his fantasies with me- I will nver judge or think badly- and maybe we can try some.
This made him very happy XX