giving it a pause for six months will be beneficial for you both.. you will be at a better place mentally.. so will he.. and when it's said and done, you'll be much more at ease to pick it up if it is meant to be..
Although it is rare for two APs to end up together, it's not impossible, and I think when one of them is single, it happens a little more often. You are being very realistic about the "fantasy" aspect of an A, and wondering what your true feelings are for your AP. I think you have a good head on your shoulders.
If you separate the marriage problems from the A situation, you would probably still be considering leaving at this point. Your A might have just given you the confidence to even think about leaving. Being apart form your AP for awhile while you go through working out the marriage situation is a great idea. If your AP loves you, he will still be there, and you can better figure out your feelings about him during this time also.
Keep posting here, it really helps to "think out loud" and there are so many here who can help you work through it all! Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Thank You all for your advice and understanding. It's nice to have found someplace where I can vent and share without being judged.
I talked to OM last night for over two hours basically about nothing and everything. For now I'm going to continue my relationship with him because I enjoy our companionship. I really feel in time that this could develope into something more for me but while I'm in my present situation I refuse to allow myself to fall for him, I guess that just a way of protecting myself.
I know in my heart that my M is over and this A has really opened up my eyes and my heart of the reality of what my situation has been for the last couple of years. I want to get my ducks in a row before I end things with my H and I guess thats why I gave him 6 months to get his act together.
Thanks for making me feel so welcome. I normally lurk on boards but I have a feeling I might be active on this one.
giving it a pause for six months will be beneficial for you both.. you will be at a better place mentally.. so will he.. and when it's said and done, you'll be much more at ease to pick it up if it is meant to be..
good luck..
While I know that logically, what nevereasy says is true, it can be so hard to give up something that's bringing you happiness.
anotherseyes
Welcome to MAS whatamess!
Although it is rare for two APs to end up together, it's not impossible, and I think when one of them is single, it happens a little more often. You are being very realistic about the "fantasy" aspect of an A, and wondering what your true feelings are for your AP. I think you have a good head on your shoulders.
If you separate the marriage problems from the A situation, you would probably still be considering leaving at this point. Your A might have just given you the confidence to even think about leaving. Being apart form your AP for awhile while you go through working out the marriage situation is a great idea. If your AP loves you, he will still be there, and you can better figure out your feelings about him during this time also.
Keep posting here, it really helps to "think out loud" and there are so many here who can help you work through it all! Looking forward to hearing more from you.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Thank You all for your advice and understanding. It's nice to have found someplace where I can vent and share without being judged.
I talked to OM last night for over two hours basically about nothing and everything. For now I'm going to continue my relationship with him because I enjoy our companionship. I really feel in time that this could develope into something more for me but while I'm in my present situation I refuse to allow myself to fall for him, I guess that just a way of protecting myself.
I know in my heart that my M is over and this A has really opened up my eyes and my heart of the reality of what my situation has been for the last couple of years. I want to get my ducks in a row before I end things with my H and I guess thats why I gave him 6 months to get his act together.
Thanks for making me feel so welcome. I normally lurk on boards but I have a feeling I might be active on this one.
Welcome whatamess!
Please do become an active poster.