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| Mon, 06-21-2010 - 10:03pm |
So AP has really been trying to get free to see me, but having difficulty..of course. So today, I told him I'd work a half day then meet him at his school because he had to give driver's ed lessons today. We had a whole 40 minutes of time together. We were in his office in the school so no funny business could go on. We are both in the field of education and value it tremendously!! However, a little hot and heavy smooching did happen. I left there feeling so bummed because I don't know the next time I will be seeing him. Additionally, I haven't heard from him the rest of today. Those two things make affairs so difficult.
It is funny, but until recently, I never considered what we had together an affair. Over the past five years, we have only meet less than a dozen times and intimate only twice. As of the last month, I finally realized that we both have some strong feelings going on and that I am actually involved in an affair. Since I realized this, I have been dealing with how I might mess up the lives of his kids and wife if they were to find out or if he leaves them. We would hurt so many people and only make two people happy. Plus, he would have to leave everything that he has built in the last 20 years of his marriage.
Have any of you had to deal with those thoughts or even better go through AP leaving family....how did AP adjust to a new life?

I don't have any answers to the questions you asked, but I do know what you mean about how weird it is to use the term "affair."
jane...
Thanks for your words...really made me think about how to deal with the A. I would truly like a long term relationship with him and not just an affair. We have had "brief" discussions about possibilities in the future, but no concrete plans. A year from now his youngest daughter will graduate from high school and he has mentioned that it wouldnt be before then that he would leave. I honestly don't think he will ever take the step to leaving her, so I must decide how to continue.
You are so right about the hot passion...if the A ended, in time it wouldn't be so hot. So I'll try to focus on enjoying that part now and not focus on the part of not being #1 with him.:)
As you mentioned, I am glad I found this site too because it does help to read the posts and get some things worked out with myself.
Thanks again!!