mind games??
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mind games??
| Tue, 06-22-2010 - 9:42pm |
So the last time I was with AP he talked about being in a stagnant marriage and didn't want to be in that kind of relationship and he said that he didn't think that I wanted that either. Then he proceeded to ask me if

First of all, you weren't planning on leaving your BF for AP, were you?
anotherseyes
I don't think your AP meant himself when he said "someone out there". I think he is panicking because you really are leaving. It puts a ton of pressure on a relationship and on a person if someone leaves for them. It's almost enough to make the person draw completely back, even if that's what they thought they wanted.
My advice is to tell your AP that you are not leaving for him. Tell him you are looking forward to being free of your R, and that you're strong enough to handle being alone. Tell him you will find someone to treat you better than your B/F, whether it is him or someone else. This will relieve the pressure from him, and he just might come around once the pressure is off. But you'd better mean what you say, in case he doesn't come around, and the reality of a real R is too much for him to handle.
Also, if you think it's better for you to wait to leave, like you originally intended, then you should wait, and not leave sooner just to placate your AP. You have to leave when the time is right for you, because your AP might not be there waiting whether you leave sooner or later. Do what's best for you!
I hope to hear updates. :-)
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I am not leaving my relationship for AP. I am not ready to start another relationship, I need to find myself and get to know myself again. Somehow I have lost myself in the past ten years. I am afraid to be alone, but always have been. I know it will be hard for a long time, but better in the long run.
I met with AP today and things went well. You could tell we missed each other. He brought up the subject of me leaving, told me that he knows I can do it and that I owe it to myself to be happy. He said that what we are doing together "means something", still trying to figure out what he meant by that.
It is very hard for me to focus on myself and what I need. I have been a mother since I was 10 (raised my sisters) and have never really worked on "me". I have somewhere to go until I can get on my feet, which is good. I am still planning on leaving and if something works out between AP and myself, then it does, if not there are many other men out there.