Will it ever get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Will it ever get easier?
7
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 10:36am
Yesterday I had a wonderful time with AP. We loved each other and talked a lot. We both were so happy. I just woke up and I already feel like I miss him so much. I already feel this emptiness inside of me. I've been with AP for 4 months and I still feel so bad the next few days after spending time with him. I am craving him so much. So I have a question for those who have been in an A for several years. Do you still feel the same way I do? If you don't, when did the change happen? Will it ever get easier? Will this craving be always this strong? The only thing that helps me is when he texts me, but even that doesn't take all the pain away. I try to distract myself, but it's almost impossible. He is always on my mind. And I don't even think I am in love with him. I mean I love being with him, I love making him feel special and happy, but I can't imagine a future with him. I am still so in love with DH.
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 12:07pm
Hi findfreedom,
I have been in an A for about a year now. We started out having an EA, but it turned into a PA soon after. My AP is S, I am M to my DH for almost 17 years. Never did I think I would be involved in an A. I have had some anger issues with my H, and have been going to a counselor for this with much success, I think. But, I fear that I am very much addicted to my AP. Like you, I cannot say that I am in love with him - we get along extremely well, and the time I spend with him is absolutely amazing. When I am away from him, I miss him very much. It does get better over time, however, since I have been working on keeping my emotions in check when I am not
with him. I do get to see him fairly often, but starting today I will be on a vacation for week and will miss him alot. I really look forward to his texts, but I don't want to expect any. He tells me he is not in love with me, but actions definately speak louder than words. His actions say "I love you" consistently. We really enjoy each other's company, but I can't ever imagine leaving my H right now for a future with AP.
Is your AP a MM or S? Hang in there and enjoy every moment you
spend with him, but remember to take care of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 3:50pm

Hi Heartsofsix,


I am glad to hear that it does get a little easier with the time. I can't wait until the time when I can just enjoy my A and not constantly work on controlling my emotions. AP is MM and has kids. He treats me good, but I really don't like that he is the one in control of when we talk and when we meet. Just like you, I am soon going on vacation with my family. I have no idea how we will handle it. So far we have been away from each other for 4 days with almost no contact and we missed each other a lot. I don't want to be away from him but at the same time I can't wait to go on vacation and see how it will be being

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 5:19pm

My situation may be slightly different.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 3:25pm

Hi Freedom,


You are ADDICTED to him plain and simple and does it ever get easier? I really don't know but then again having an A period is not an easy thing (for me at least). I think the more your feelings get involved and if you should fall in love with him would only complicate

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 10:53pm

I never thought I'd be saying this but "I've been there" and I really miss those early times. I dont think I will ever get them back(pause for a sob).


Back then it was like I was running a fever all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 8:29am

I think I agree with purplerayne007 , its soon going to be very complicated as time goes on .
you said you still in love with your husband ? first I really doubt it , but even it is true , reading from other posters stories I can tell you , you wouldn't be able to say that same line after some months down the line . you might think your story is unique ,but really it is not . It is a typical case of affair where your feelings changes abruptly .

On this forum there are many posters who left or contemplating leaving their spouse after they have affair just like you .

So I am not saying it is right or wrong but just stating the facts .
I wouldn't have said all the above with that much surity if your affair had been just a physical one bit it doesn't seem to be the case here . am i right ?

best of luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 12:53pm

You girls, are right. I am addicted to AP or whatever he makes me feel when we are together. But I know that I don't love him. I posted before that I see all his flaws and I can't imagine a future with him. I still belive I love DH. I can't imagine my life without him. I am always happy to see him when he comes home from work. I like sitting next to him and hugging him. The only thing that is missing is