For those in EAs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
For those in EAs
5
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 1:11pm

Just curious, what keeps it from moving into a PA? You, your AP, or something else? How long has your EA been going on and what makes you define it as an EA?

Just looking for some insight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 3:43pm

Mine is mostly an EA...I say that because we've only "been together" one time in year with a kiss here and there. No real physical contact in the past several months. HARD as HECK, but without going into details I can't share here...we have to be EXTREMELY careful.


Been keeping up with your story, jersey, so I can say this: Think VERY carefully about moving things along. I know you want to, and he seems more hesitant. Smart guy, really. These things need to be carefully weighed before you jump in.


I say that b/c my AP and I rushed into that...there was just INCREDIBLE chemistry. BUT, there's also a friendship that I can't even describe...couple that with GREAT sex and you truly have a problem of sorts on your hands. I was already "in love" w/ AP when we had sex...he was getting there. The sexual encounter just about sent both of us over the edge...all the sudden we were both longing for something we couldn't have...or at least not on any regular basis. The emotions ran amok and both of us were a MESS!


I can't say it happens in all cases, but that extra bonding just may take you both to places you're not prepared to handle...just something to think about. Sounds like your AP is self-aware enough that he's not ready for where that may lead.


AP and I have been "involved" (had a 3 month break...tried to end it...diff saga LOL) for a year. The last 6 months has strictly been EA....not so much as a peck kiss...although he touched my back at a mtg one night, and I thought I was going catch fire!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 5:33pm

Well you know my whole story but it is AP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 6:19pm

AP and I continued to become more intimate over the course of about 3 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 7:37pm
We have been playing our EA game since mid-May. So about 3.5 months. I know its an EA because what I am doing is not something my H would appreciate, nor would his SO. We text pretty much 4-5 times a week for most the day. It has been slowly progressing into the physical side, we have not done much, the talk is all there, we know a lot about what we are willing/not willing to do, protection, logistics, what we like/don't like, just haven't progressed there. We have done some stuff, just not a lot or very much at that. If our SO's saw our texts/emails we would be in a great deal of trouble. I see him anywhere from 1-4 times a week right now since we aren't working together, when we work the number goes up. We both know we are cheating and what we are doing is wrong, I define it as an EA. He doesn't really define it as anything I suppose, we never really talk about it at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 10:00am

Mine as an EA for a little over a month and the opportunity presented its self that we found ourselves in a hotel room with no supervision.