does your AP want his/her SO sexually?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
does your AP want his/her SO sexually?
8
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 6:40pm

In the beginning of my A I was sexually attracted to both men: AP and DH. But as the A continued I wanted AP more and more and DH less and less. I do love DH and enjoy being close to him, but I am no longer sexually attracted to him. I read that some other female posters feel the same way. But I was wondering if

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 7:13pm
I know AP still has sex with his SO. We both "ended up in this situation" because the sex was lacking. We didn't have as much sex as we were both hoping for. While I still have sex with H, it is no where near as frequent as we did when we were first married/dating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 8:17pm

I am one of those that has no desire for my H but am overwhelmed with desire for my AP. I was in a sexless M long before our A started, and wasn't looking for it (an A)... he actually started it. Not complaining! :-) It was lacking for him as well, but mostly b/c of infertility issues they have dealt with over the past 5 yrs (no fun). They still had a sex life tho, which I chose to ignore, or tried to, b/c I've fallen in love with him and can't stand the idea of him being intimate with anyone else. In the 6 months we've been in this, I've had sex with my H once, so my AP knows I'm all his. Recently, he did tell me he's stopped having sex with his W, and she wants him to get viagra (not knowing why he stopped...) and he's also told me when they are intimate, he thinks of me. So... yeah! Fun times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 11:18pm

My AP does have sex w/ his W but not often. for instance the last month, we had IC once a week sometimes twice, where as he had gone 3 weeks w/o being IC with his W. she doesnt push the issue much so it works. he tells her she made his "drive" go away when she kept rejecting him all the time and she doesnt care really.


My H has always been one the best in bed.... only problem.... we have torn each other apart and hurt each other... that i dont wanna be near him. i do what i have to when necessary, once week or every other week, to keep the questions from coming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 12:11am
Just like any other relationship, the sparks die down as the years go on.
My AP has been married for 26 years and he's told me definitely the sex is not what it used to be with his W. It is understandable because the sex and the passion is not what it used to be with my H either, after 20 years of marriage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 2:44pm

I guess my situation is somewhat similar. My H wants sex all the time. I am not attracted to him because at the age of 30 he had a heart attack and had 2 stents in his heart. He was healthy then and it was a freak accident but the docs warned him to change his lifestyle, habits. To this day, 3 years later he has not. He eats fast food daily while I try and work out hard each week to loose baby weight. He drinks beer all night and now has this beer belly and I have never been with a man before with such. Somewhere along the way, I fell apart and think maybe now I am too far gone to climb back up to being attracted to H. I do have IC with him about once every 8 weeks. I have a ton of excuses I use just to get out of it. Horrible, I know. But to keep him at bay and without any suspicions, I do get with H from time-to-time. The last time, it was horrible but I was there physically but not mentally. It was 3 days after my first time with AP. AP rocks my world and creates the big O 4-5x in a 1 hour session. I am enamored by him, I crave his touch, his kisses, his bear hugs and the sweet moments of laying around talking afterwards. Because he is only home a few days of the month with is job, I am sure he is intimate with his wife but I would never ask nor do I want to know. So overall, I could be intimate every day with AP and never with H and be just fine..LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 5:44pm
I've never asked and he's never said anything other than sex with me is totaly different compared to the 'mechanical' sex he's used to.
katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 11:36am

H & I had a great sex life but after some years have passed it died out ALOT. He still desires me, looks for me & initiates it but physically I just wasn't as interested as I use to be. H basically showed me most of what I know and feel he is the best lover I ever had BUT as I started with AP and time passed by I found myself withdrawing more and more from H physically to the point where I try to avoid him and only want AP. The passion and fire that he has for me is what I can't get enough of. Its just such a great feeling that I have a problem giving up.


I wish I knew why this is. I have this new found desire for AP that has me addicted & coming back for more. I don't want anyone else. No one right now will do...Wish I can make that go away...


 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:49pm
Wow, I couldn't have