wake up call

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
wake up call
2
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 1:11pm

Ive been lurking here for the last few months, gaining knowledage and strength from everyone. Now I think I need a wake up call. I dunno.


Been seeing this guy for about 4-5 months now, he is married and so am I. Im not nearly commited as he appears to be. He says he isnt but actions speak louder than words. Both him and his wife are in the military and she was away on training this summer, which allowed us to become what we have. At 1st it was NSA and purely fun. Then he told me he loved me and I fell for the hook line and sinker.


Time moved on and he told me that with universty and what not he wouldnt have time for this. More like he wife came home and now he chooses not to make the 30 second email to me or whatever. Ill get an email maybe once a week saying how much he misses me and loves me but seriously, does he really? His marriage is on the rocks-so he says and I think im being the fool and holding on and chasing something that he doesnt want. I dont want to seem like the crazy girlfriend...Ive contacted him 3 times and still havent gotton nothing back. One of them was asking if we are done and he paniced called me and emailed me telling me no...and nothing since.


Am Im being played and lead on? Please someone give me your opinion, I feel like I should be patent and hold on and then I feel like 'let the jerk go'.


Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 7:14am

Welcome to MAS motocrosschick!

I think your initial instincts are right, unfortunately. His wife came home and now he only has time for a once a week e-mail. He claims his marriage is "on the rocks", and maybe part of him believes it, but obviously not all of him. I think in an affair, an AP can exaggerate the bad stuff about their spouse while never mentioning the good. Things are not usually as bad as they are portrayed. The fact that he panicked when you wanted to end it just means that he likes having you as an option.

It's up to you whether such a low amount of contact is tolerable for you. I think it probably is not enough, and if that's the case then this A is more angst than fun now, and you would be much better off leaving it behind.

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 3:37pm

Cl-Lex,


Thank you for posting to me. I know the that the writting is on the wall , I think im just in the process of realizing what it all means. You did offer some good points on it about his marriage and how things may seem in the moment. I havent heard from him---I think eventually I will,maybe.