agreed on NC...very sad and depressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2010
agreed on NC...very sad and depressed
5
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 2:22pm

I saw AP saturday night and after a fantastic night we mutually agreed to go NC. We have known each other 15 years and he is the love of my life and I am his.


We decided to go NC becuase this has been going on for 3 years and something has eventually got to give. All good things have to come to an end, right?


Well, Im having problems at home and plan on asking my H for a divorce very soon. A and I thought we should go NC for two reasons. If I do get a divorce then when i get things together and can call him.. and see where it can go with us.


If i decide to stay with H, then we did the right thing and we can both move on with our lives. But this is killing me. It's only been a day and a half and Im dying inside. However, I know we did the right thing.


Anyone been through the same situation? How did you handle it?


Thanx

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 2:28pm
Good question. I'd love to know, too...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 3:08pm

I'm in a similar situation, except that we've been NC for 4 months now....and I'm miserable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 4:22pm

that is SOOOOoooo sad!!! that's EXACTLY what I'm afraid of!!!

how devastating :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 9:50pm

Wow... hugs to you. It sounds like we're going through similar situations.. except I'm S and he's M.

In the past, we'd broken it off several times but didn't do the NC thing, and it always failed. A couple weeks ago I ended it after he failed to move out on the date he promised me, and the NC made him crazy... but I really felt like I was getting strong. I wish he'd never contacted me (he came back begging).. because I was staring to do well on my own.

Get busy - go to movies, get involved in a hobby or jump on yours. Read. Just keep busy.

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 9:53pm

I have no magic answers for any of you. I know exactly what each of you are going through BUT I do believe when you do the "right" thing, then things will go as they should. Lying and sneaking and cheating is not the right way. If you made NC to try and do the right thing, then it will turn out. I think your own personal belief system is what will get you through. Do not make fear based decisions..do what feels right for you and I promise it works out.

Good thoughts for all of us!