The W questioned my ##
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| Tue, 09-07-2010 - 3:38pm |
Ack! I talked with AP yesterday and he told me that his W questioned my number. I told him I felt horrible but he said it wasn't a big deal and he told her I was such and such, etc.. I guess she saw a lot of texts between the 2 numbers but no content. Thats odd though because my bill doesnt show numbers, it just shows a total amount for the whole month. Anyways, he said I should call instead. I would never call before because I wasn't sure of his schedule/didn't want to bother him, etc.. and he said "never a bother" so I guess the bright side of this is I get to talk more on the phone. The downside...is I personally (he should as well) proceed with caution. I think he is kind of down in the dumps with his work schedule but he asked to see me tonight so I'll go. (Not that you have to twist my arm or anything..lol) as I miss him a lot and really enjoy my time with him. At first, I didnt think he was too attached or cared much about me besides the physical part. I said this morning something to the affect of it's too bad we could never spend all night together or go out to eat, somewhat normal things (even though this is an A) and I hated feeling like a sex toy. He got mad and declared over and over that is not what I was, I was a good friend (we all know how friends turns out in the end..lol) but that he would do nothing more then just hang out next time, talk, get to know each other and that sex was not all he wanted. I'll admit, I kind of wanted to feel that he cares, looks forward to my texts, etc.. and now that I have it, Im a little freaked out and thinking I will take one step back. Maybe see him once a week vs. the standard two. I'm really excited about seeing him tonight, I just think that maybe (its been 3 mths or so) some of my initial adornment to him, is wearing off on my end.
On another note, I went to church this Sunday. It is not a regular thing because my husband is a wayyyy different relegion than I am and well, it just doesnt happen but I want my kids there. So the first thing the pastor starts off with that Sunday (sermon was on LOVE) was talking about affairs and how we all make mistakes. Ugh....stab to the gut! Odd.

Kind of coincidental about the sermon! Yikes, I would have felt it was a sign from God LOL.
Enjoy your time with AP Cali. It might be a fun thing to hang out without sex once in awhile and concentrate on getting to know each other. Does he know that you know his last name yet? LOL...
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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We did have this conversation a week ago and I brought up wanting to know more about him in general than just his body..lol..he said "girl, I have nothing to hide" and I told him I knew his last name from when he showed me his badge. Then he said "wait, I dont even know yours" and so I told him. I actually told him my maiden name and not my married name. Im not sure why but o well....we are moving forward.
Last night was nice, sweet. I think I am going to think of something for us to do to hang out (even though we are limited in time and mobility with his career) and NOT have sex...a true test. He was having an off day yesterday...misses home and his boy with his work schedule. I was trying to be there for him and be understanding. Honestly, Im not sure how long this will go...and I think more so on my end. It hurts now thinking about not seeing him but how long can I go on (meeting him twice a week for merely sex. I told him I felt like a sex toy kind of and he stopped and turned the light on and was upset. Normally, its pretty dark when we are together but he turned light on at start and said how he didnt want to be strangers in the dark. Which I appreciate but I still think...not sure yet...I want something else...obviously more from him than he can give which Im sure is the story in all A's...but I just dont know how much in common we actually have besides giving each other sexual satisfaction.
Hmmm..I dont understand the seeing the texts but with no content thing. Does anyone have texts that show up with the numbers on their bills.? Ive never heard of this before. Mine as well as yours, just shows the total amount of texts. And actualy texting is much safer than calling,