Update-He's Back from Vacation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Update-He's Back from Vacation!
4
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 4:03pm
EAP was back to work today after a week long vacation. He spent part of that vacation on a road trip with his W. The squirrels were running wild while he was away. I kept thinking when he came back, after all of that bonding time with W, that he wouldn't want to talk to me. I'm happy to say everything seems to be just like we left it. I was a bit hesitant at first, wanting to see how he reacted to me. He was fine and we caught up on our time apart throughout today via email, phone, and in person. He made a lot of effort to spend time/have contact with me. I told him I missed him while he was away. I'm glad things are fine, but I wonder, where do I go from here? I just am not sure if I have the energy for this anymore. I refuse to let myself get excited or hopeful for something that may never happen-for this to move to a PA. He will change work sites in 2 wks, so the contact will be limited and this may just peter out. I guess until then I will just keep doing what I have been doing all along, but try to be more detached emotionally. After 10 days with NC, I am not as consumed by this as I was before. I almost feel like it is futile and I should let it go...but part of me can't. Ugh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 5:09pm
Sorry you're in this limbo sweetie. FWIW I think your AP is happy with things just the way they are - he gets something from your EA, and he clearly couldn't handle a PA. If that leaves you only wanting more, then it's probably a good thing that he will be changing work sites. It will probably make it easier for you to move on. (((HUGS))) sweetie.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 10:15am
You're absolutely right Lexi-he is happy where things are at because he keeps them there. I want more and have told him, but he still stands his ground. Sometimes he gives me mixed signals and he has told me he is struggling with things, but nonetheless, we are still just in an EA. Another week or so and then I'll just be forced to let it go...at least we'll remain friends and who knows, our paths may cross again someday under different circumstances.
Now I will focus on what I am going to do about my mess of a M.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 2:24pm

I am sorry you feel this way !

My AP went away for work and it was just soo difficult but we stayed in contact.He called me many times a day.Once back,it doesnt seem he ever went away! But it does make a difference that my AP is S and I am the M one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 2:43pm

((((Hugs)))) jerseygirl!



I'm glad you got through his absence, and that things seem fine between the two of you now that he's back.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 4:39pm
I agree that we will have the friendship and the level of contact will change once he goes. We'll just have to see how much contact we continue to have and what happens when he comes back to this job site, which will happen, but not sure when. I think having less contact will help me to detach and be content with the friendship. I guess I'll find out what was really most impt to me-the friendship or the affair aspect...