Last Thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Last Thoughts
2
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 4:52pm

As most of you know, I've been on the path to ending my A, or maybe just following AP down it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 5:04pm
I can relate to so much of what you are saying Jane. H and I are at the same point and we are talking D. I am scared, scared to move out of my comfort zone, albeit unhappy marriage. I am right there with you. I don't know if I ever really knew what I wanted or just wanted what I was "supposed" to want. I don't know how to sort it all out. What I am most afraid of is if I can do it on my own and what kind of life that will be? Am I being selfish? Part of me knows I will at least be being honest and not pretending to be in a M that I don't want to be in with a man I don't love. HUGS, big HUGS!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 5:04pm
I know this was a long time coming Jane. You know I wish you well, and if you post anywhere else I will surely keep a check on you! I will send you strength and caring with those positive vibes. Please take care of yourself sweetie. Many (((HUGS)))

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: janejosie
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 8:21pm

All the very very best over there Jane :-). I will be keeping tabs on you in my lurkdom lol

Keep well and sending HUGS galore your way.
Xx

Bird

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 3:53am

Oh Janie janie janie



HUGE HUG!!!!! I really want you to find yourself, your soul and then love. In that order.



Im sure I'll be seeing you over at EAS, so for now I think saying goodbye is important. I know that going NC is often best for some people, but personally sending an email, after our lunch, will help me as I know I got to say what needed to be said.



Thats all I have for you now love. But Im here and have the hard liquor when you are ready!



Iggy

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 9:55am

((HUGS)) Jane :) You have been on that ride too long...I'm PROUD of you for deciding to get off. No doubt you've made the right decision for YOU.



Just one little thing I'd like to address for you: The not feeling guilt...very common for women in A's. Back when I tried to end and went to T to try and straighten myself out (HA!) I initially went b/c I felt guilty for not feeling guilty.



There's a whole bunch of chemical and psychological stuff behind it all, but the bottom line is that often the female forms an emotional bond (yes, it can be and is often one-sided in A's) and thus is able to "justify" her actions in her own mind, removing guilt being a factor. Is it right? Well, there are surely people reading who will loudly proclaim, "HECK, NO!!!", but the physiological response is what it is...you're human. So, take that off your list of things to beat yourself up over...you've got bigger fish to fry :) Hang in there...