Testaments / Fights

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Testaments / Fights
2
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 9:01pm


A year ago or so my husband signed some papers behind my back regarding money, at his mother’s request. His family thinks that I'm with him just for the green card (I'm Mexican). He confessed, he also said he felt bad about lying to me, but anyway, he did it!

My husband has this completely irrational idea that I'm stealing money from him. I have asked him to keep track of the expenses writing down all the money we spend, I hardly ever spend any, but he's always griping at me, no matter what! I make good money, probably more than him, and I keep a tight budget, but he spends way too much money on cigarettes, beer and things we don’t always need, he has problems with the IRS for back taxes, you name it!

Few weeks ago we were talking about money issues, he was telling me that he wanted to leave the house we own to both me and his son, I told him I certainly didn’t agree with that, to me my house is the only thing I can count on when I’m old, it is my financial security, and we both, and only us, have worked for it, I don’t think it’s fair, I told him when I’m gone, then for sure that house will be for his son, but not before! He agreed... until yesterday, when ALL OUT OF THE BLUE told me that I’m stealing money from him, than when he dies his child is not gonna get anything, I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t let me talk, he started calling me names and insulting my family and just acting crazy, like he always does when he’s drunk and mad.

He has a insurance policy on my name, so yesterday I told him he needs to change that, I don’t want any money from him, I told him all I wanted is to feel protected and secured after he’s gone, but if he thinks I’m a low life and a dishonest person (which I’m not), then we need to split out checks, from now on his money is his money and my money is my money, that makes me very sad, because I wanted a marriage not a biz partner relationship, but I don’t see any other option.

Today he said he never told me that, and that upsets me very much, because I know what he said, and when he acts like I’m “hearing” things, I feel abused.

Thank you for letting me share!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 1:29pm
Sorry you have to go through all this.

I can only imagine how you must feel. There may come a point where you will have to put money away just for your financial secuirty and/or buy your own home to retire in, if he can't figure out what he says and means.


Carrie

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 3:30pm
This is a very bad situation. It sounds like your husband has some serious issues, not the least of which is a drinking problem. For your own emotional and financial well being, I think you need to do whatever you can to get your husband some help for his problems or, if you can't do that, then you need to get out.