He said "I need a break"
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He said "I need a break"
| Mon, 12-08-2003 - 11:18pm |
5 weeks ago I met a guy through a friend because he asked if she knew anyone that he could meet? he just wanted to find someone he could spend time with and love. We liked each other alot right away and after the first week, we spent everyday together for the next three weeks. He came on strong from the beginning. Flowers, phone calls, declarations, he came to my house everyday, initiated phone calls several times a day, insisted this was just not infatuation and he wanted to take further steps in developing a relationship. Said he wanted to take care of me, etc. After four weeks we went a a short trip together to visit his family...he became aware of some serious problems with his ex and kids(they were moving with no place to go, unplanned relocation etc.) he still wanted to go on the trip, but it was cut short and he dropped me off at home and said he'd call after he picked up the kids and figured out what was going on. He never called - the next day I went to his house to see if he and the kids wanted to go to breakfast and he wouldn't answer the door or my calls, finally telling me that he was in a really bad mood and didn't want to talk to anyone and that I was making it worse. Since then a week ago, he has told me that he doesn't want to stop the relationship, but it was going too fast, he feel claustrophobic and that he needs space. He says his feelings haven't changed, but he needs a break. He won't answer my calls, but tells me he will call me-I just don't know when that will be. My question is: does he want to break up and just doesn't want to tell me? or should I not contact him at all and let him come back to me - which I might add I have not been successful at doing. Need advice...

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I hope I'm wrong in regard to what's going on with your bf, but just thought I'd share my thoughts.
When someone shifts so very abruptly with no warning, this is not a good sign. It is a sign of emotional instability. Clearly, he could not sustain the emotional high he put himself and you on. Then when trouble arose in his personal life and he make uneasy, he crashed. This is not someone that can be trusted with your feelings. He is not showing any consideration of you at all, or how his sudden and abrupt behavior is making you feel. I would step back, take a long look and realize that though things "seemed" wonderful in the beginning, other parts of this person have now been revealed. It takes time to know who a person is. When we see someone handle pressure or difficult times, a more real picture of their true character and maturity arises. It's not a matter of whether he wants you, but why in the world would you want to be with someone who behaves this way? If this happened once, it will happen again. Let him go his way. Be glad that you saw the whole picture so early on, before you became more involved.
Best wishes.
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