I cheated on my boyfreind

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
I cheated on my boyfreind
5
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 1:33am
TO anyone that reads this

I have a loving boyfreind who i have been seeing now for over 13 months this is my first boyfreind that i have had. and the other day i betrayed him with another person. He got so mad at me he didnt want to know me and after 3 days he said that i had a lot of work to win his trust and him over, and still even if it did work it would be alot different.

PLEASE i need help i want to revive this relationship and make it was before all of this happened i want to make him the most happiest man alove and that he means everything to me and that i want to tell him how sorry i am and that i would never ever hurt him again i want to tell him that what i did was wrong and that i want to make it up for him, please some one help me i need help badly PLEASE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 7:19am
Hiya,

It sounds like you truly regret what happened. Wether or not you make it as a couple really depends on how much trust you can regain with your boyfriend.

The fact that he is willing to try again with you proves he must really love you, as does the fact that you told him, instead of trying to hide it.

When my boyfriend cheated on me, he spent a lot of time telling me it would never happen again, and I found it hard to believe him.

You don't need to TELL your boyfriend, you need to SHOW him, it takes a lot more time and effort, and doesn't fix everything overnight, but it means a lot more than just saying it.

All the best, hope it works out

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 7:26am
How would i be able to show him that i want this relationship to work, and how would i show him and proove to him that i do love him and that he is the only person for me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 10:09am

Give him his space for right now.The last thing he needs in you constantly trying to resolve things, that cant happen right now. Let him think about things, and get things straight with himself. Them, IF and when he decides to try and make things work with you, you better be damn ready to be faithful.


You too need to think about if you are really ready to be a committed relationship, or if you will be tempted again. It is ok to feel the need to be single, and see what is out there.What is not fair, though, is to keep putting someone though all of this.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 12:26pm
Well I can't tell you what *he* will expect, but some general rules are:

*Always be where you say you will be*

*Don't ever lie to him again-even if it's a white lie-because that will enforce that he definately can't trust you*

*Make your life an open book- the more he knows, the less he will find out from other sources. He needs to feel like you are hiding nothing*

*Be patient and know that regaining trust is a long process, and sometimes it can't even be achieved. There is the possibility that the relationship might not ever work out*

Did you figure out why you cheated in the first place? How do you know it will never happen again?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 1:12pm
His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

Straight Talk About Betrayal: A Self-Help Guide for Couples by Donna R. Bellafiore

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful -- Janis Abrahms


Carrie