contact her on her birthday?
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contact her on her birthday?
| Tue, 12-09-2003 - 9:20am |
My GF of the past year says she loves me but needs a break. Two weeks ago she broke up with me -- saying she needs time and space to work out some issues -- our age difference (i'm older) and my previous marraige, etc. we were incredily close for the past year with barely a day apart here and there. i have contacted her a couple of times over the past two weeks -- initially sent her some flowers, then lyrics to our favorite song, and made perhaps two phone calls to her. The latest, yesterday, was met pretty coldly and she said that time and space didn't mean i should contact her every few days. she said we would go out to dinner next week. The question i have is in regards to her birthday, which is today. should i send a card? call her? send her a brief email? do nothing? whatever i do would just be an acknowledgement -- upbeat and have a great day kind of thing. Any suggestions?

I would send her an email.I know that she is saying that space doesnt mean contacting her everyday, but a birthday is different, especially when you guys were dating.I think that if you didnt contact her in some way, it might be taken as rude or inconsiderate.
Shoot her a short email, saying NOTHING BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Dont tell her to call you, or that you miss her- nothing like that.JUst happy birthday.
Good luck,
Well, it might be hard for her to talk to you on the phone, or inperson still.With an email, at least it shoes that she was in your thoughts, but yet she can open the email when she feels ready, notbeacuse you are on the other line of a telephone.
she did respond with a polite thanks, wishes she wasn't working, etc ... i let it go with no response -- that was tough.
Unfortunaltely, yes, I do think its too much to ask for, And i wouldnt expect it either. She wants her space, and Thats what u need to give her. She cant decide on things if she has u in her face al of the time, even just to say hi. She made it very cl;ear to you that she didnt want that, respect it.
I wouldnt advise you to wait either.Dont spend your life waiting to hear an answer from her as to what she wants.Get out there and start meeting other people.
Glad that she responded to you, but you need to take this time to fix yourself up, not sit around waiting for an email or a phone call.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy
I can completely relate to what you are going thru. I went through the EXACT same thing about a year ago. My boyfriend suddenly decided that he wanted an indefinite amount of time and space to think about things and decide what he wanted and he wanted NO contact. It was horrible. I was numb for weeks...couldn't sleep, eat, nothing! I was a mess.... I had to move on..... I had to get a grip of myself and thats what I did. I moved out, got new friends, a new place to live, a new job, total change of scene...and guess what happened... he came back! Begged me to come back to him and make another go of it....at that point I didn't want to go back I was having so much fun. My point is, what will be will be... you cannot influence her decision at this stage of the game, but what you can do is take care of yourself and your own peace of mine. Life happens while you are making other plans....! Now... Ive met a new guy, absolutely brilliant person and I am so much happier. You have to learn to "think outside the box".....give it a go and see what happens!
Good luck!