Married boss -HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Married boss -HELP
6
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 10:27pm
Lately I've gone crazy because I know that the situation Im in is wrong! To make the long story short, I've become involved with a married man who is also my boss. There are things about him that I just cant help but like and yet when i think about his wife I drive myself nuts. All im asking for is what I know is right, to end this, but I dont know how? He's very hardheaded and I'd like to be able to end it without getting on his bad side and I seriously dont know how!!!! HELP
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 6:26am
Get a new job! When you started messing around with the married boss, you should have known it would ultimately create HUGE problems, and that getting employed elsewhere would be something that you would eventually have to do. It is your choice to continue to see him, and NO, he can't make you do anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 2:36pm
Without getting on his bad side....if you do, then it's sexual harassment - if he makes your job a nightmare because you won't have sex with him.

Just end it. Tell him you can no longer continue the affair. It's not fair to anyone. And start looking for a new job.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 12-10-2003 - 4:48pm
Step one, end the relationship. Period. Rationalizing that you're worried it will affect your job does not make it right or acceptable to have a relationship with a married man. You are just as guilty of sabotaging his marriage as he is, since you know he is married. If he gives you flack at work, then simply say two words to him: sexual harassment. He'll be prince charming, or he'll be out of a job. I suspect that you don't want to take that tact because you know it would expose you as an adulteress, which obviously from the tone of your post you KNOW is heinously wrong. I would secondly STRONGLY suggest you take your resume, and find a new job. Now. No matter what the benefits, or the salary, it is not worth remaining in the situation that you have landed yourself in now. You need to start over, both in your work and in your personal relationships, and MAKE SURE that you NEVER repeat this very bad mistake again. The best way to do that is to remove yourself from the situation and have absolutely NO contact with this man again. Otherwise, I would have to reduce my opinion of you from a good woman who unfortunately, if rather foolishly, got herself into an immoral and unquestionably wrong situation, to an immoral woman who put herself into a good position with the boss, but is looking for someone to soothe her conscience about it. I don't think that you want to be that person. So don't be. Angela
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 2:53pm
End it. Period.

I was in a similar situation, I had an affair with my married boss. I fell in love with him, and left my wonderful husband of 14 years for this man.

He is still with his wife.

I am still "the secret" who he can't be seen in public with.

I am miserable.

He is having his cake and eating it too!

I am ending my relationship with him...today. :)
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 12-14-2003 - 5:13pm

You have to end it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 7:09pm
hello dao

from my own opinion i feel by now you should know what you want and at every point in our lives we all make mistakes bcos i believe you have made one. but don't let me castigate you. what you have to do is to breakup with him in an amicable way that it won't affect your job but i don't see how it wont you have to pray hard so that he can let go of you.he has to choose btw his wife and you but it is not healthy and also not wise for you to continue.

i wish you the best

com