He didn't "CHEAT" so can I trust him??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
He didn't "CHEAT" so can I trust him??
4
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 10:51pm
A few days after my current boyfriend officially asked me out I found out from a friend that he had kissed a girl at a party just 10 days before that. The thing is that I had asked him a few days before when we were just dating if he had hooked up with anyone and I specifically said that I wouldn't be angry with him if he had, I just wanted to know if he wanted to be exclusive. He said that he had not and that he would be upset if I hooked up with someone. So what bothered me was that he outright lied and even went on to say how he wouldn't want me to do what he did. My boyfriend lead a very promiscuous lifestyle before he met me and he's always at parties where girls throw themselves at him, and I did trust him before, but after I found out he lied to me, I've always had doubts whenever he was out and I wasn't with him. He told me he wouldn't have asked me to be his girlfriend if he didn't want to be with just me, that he hasn't felt this way about someone in a long time, and he's never cheated on a serious girlfriend before. He said that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me before so he didn't really see the point in telling me about his hookup because it would just upset me. So I want to know if I can trust what he says, although he didn't technically cheat on me, but he did lie, and if a guy can really change what they want in 10 day? What would any of you do in my place (guy or girl)?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Umm, seeing as how what he did is none of your business, and had nothing to do with you- you are seriously overreacting. Why should he have to tell you if he hooked up with someone 10 days prior to discussing being exclusive to you? You need to meddle in your own affairs, and if you can't trust him, you don't need to be with him. You sound really insecure and possibily irrational- you might want to work on that. You should have never asked him a question like that in the first place because it is obvious you can't handle it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003

I don't see what he did 10 days before he asked you out has anything to do with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
I think I may not have made my situation clear. I was dating him for 2 months before he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. During the time we were dating he would tell me how much he liked me and only wanted to be with me. We became somewhat physically initmate during this time as well. He made it seem like we were already exclusive because he said he was not hooking up with anyone else, and then I later found out he still was. I don't know if that makes this different, or if I'm still overreacting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
It still doesn't make much of a difference. He shouldn't have lied to you about it, he should have just told you it was none of your business. You can never assume that you are exclusive with someone until you sit down and have that talk, and without being exclusive, you should assume that the other person will be dating/seeing other people. You seriously need to get over this.