What's wrong with me?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
What's wrong with me?!
2
Thu, 12-11-2003 - 11:36pm
My boyfriend and I have been fighting and arguing a lot lately. In the end, I always feel like I'm the one who messed up and I strive to make him get over it. I admit that sometimes I try to control him but I am just afraid of losing him. I realize I need to get a grip and stop trying to control but at the same time, I say things in the heat of a discussion that I shouldn't. I don't realize I say the wrong things until it's too late and he's already mad at me. What can I do to help this situation? I feel like there is something wrong with me. I love my boyfriend a lot but I can't take fighting over stupid things that don't really matter. Please advise!!!!!!!
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 10:10am

If you recognize you have the tendency to be controlling and overreact, you need to work on that first.

Avatar for stars_eyes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 10:12am
Try doing this. Apologize and seek forgiveness from him the moment find that you're calming down after an arguement with him. Eventhough it may not be your fault, apologize that you yelled at him or argued with him and wait till he forgive you about arguing, not over what you argued about. When both of you calmed down, talk things through cause I believe it is very important not to let anything left bottled up inside, else things would only get worst. If the talk get heated up again, just apologize and seek forgiveness again, of-course, sincerely. Apologize because you love him, not to shut him up. It would be less stressful if he does the same too.

Also, always pick a right time to talk about things that make you guys mad. Don't wait till it happened and argue about it.

Hope I am of some help. If not, sorry.

Melly.