what do i do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
what do i do???
3
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 1:03am
my fiance and i just had our son six month ago and it seems ever since he was born my guy has become interested in strip clubs. we fight every time he goes and i tell him how it makes me feel but he keeps going. to me, that's a form of cheating. really, why does he need to go see other; skinny women dance naked infront of him? it really hurts but he doesn't seem to care. is this normal or should i be worried? it makes me feel like he wants something better than me; like he's going to leave me cause he sees there's sexier, better looking women out there. what do i do, let it go (which would be really hard) or keep bugging him? help!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 10:01am

I know that right now, this may not make you feel any better about the situation, but those places have so many bouncers, that you cant even breathe on those girls without getting roughed up by one of them. Not that it excuses him blatenley overlooking your concerns.


You both are going through a major transition perios in your life, and for whatever reason, he is choosing to deal with it in his own way, which happens to be makeing you feel degraded. My suggestion would to sit him down and calmly tell him how you feel, but be prepared with other ways you guys can enjoy each others company.


Good luck, and congratulations on your new arrival.

cl-marsexpert

 

Avatar for stars_eyes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 10:37am
I think he went to those places is because he might be feeling that he doesn't get aroused by you easily, especially when the baby add up to making him less aroused around you. Like the other post suggested, talk to him is a good idea, but be ready that he might not be open about it. Try have the baby taken care of by your relative or have a baby sitter, so you guys can go out together and spend some time together alone without the baby, even if it was to stay home so you guys have more privacy without the baby around to prevent you from doing what you want. If you don't mind going to strip clubs, go with him. It always seem to affect people when a new baby is born. Your husband has to learn that having a new baby doesn't mean things like sexual life of both of you will change, unless you have been pushing him away. Also, have him get involved in taking care of the baby, in case he might feel left out when you gave full attention to the baby. That also will take up his time from going anywhere else.

Hope I am of some help. Btw, most strip clubs don't really have great looking women. Unless he is going a very expensive club.

Melly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 11:54am
ASk when he goes next time..get a sitter and go with him....see my SO has gone to strip joints, it doesn't really bother me that much, not to say I hate him going by himself with the guys, which he doesn't really go but maybe on a whim but I said I want to go, let me tell you hon, we almost didn't make it home, I plaed into his fantasy and knowing he was turned on used it to my advantage...hon he was all over me. Yeoooza.

That is my advise. Stop fussing about it and go with him...who gives a hoot that they are skinny and sexy, who does he come home to huh???

Good luck!