Pre-Marital Cohabitiation...yay or nay??
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Pre-Marital Cohabitiation...yay or nay??
| Fri, 12-12-2003 - 1:25am |
My fiance' and I have been living about 900 miles apart for the past 10 months. He will be away at a job for another year and a half or so. I have decided to move in with him this summer for the last 12 months of his job. We will then return home (we're from the same place originally) and plan our wedding. IS THIS A BAD IDEA? I love him and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I can't stand living apart anymore. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

I never understood this whole thing of thinking that a man wont marry you if you live together because he gets all the benefits, my fiance and I have a relationship based on love and respect and we don't play games with eachother, we're equally committed to our relationship and getting married was something we both wanted, I would never marry someone if I felt that I had to "get him to do it".
I love living together, it's just so nice that you don't have to plan seeing eachother all the time, cooking together, snuggling on the sofa after work when you're tired and don't feel like going out and all that. It did take some getting used to, but it was never a question of commitment, just getting used to eachothers habits and quirks.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy
I'm not at all saying that the same will happen to you, but I am saying that living together is like getting a peak at the exam before you actually take it. You may find that it's better than you anticipated or that there are areas you guys need to work on. Either way, it will benefit your relationship by bringing that togetherness you so seek and by bringing realizations that are an important part of being prepared to be married and make it last. Good luck and I hope that it's even more beautiful than you expect!
My fiance' and I care deeply about one another. We have an amazing sense of ourselves and one another. Our lines of communication are always open to positives and negatives. This is the healthiest most exciting relationship I have ever had in my life. I am truly in love.
With that (and a little help from my friends ;) I have decided that living together will be our next step. It DOES makes sense to spend the next year or so growing together in the same place then beliving we are while we're so far apart. I know I don't have to "trick" him into marrying me or that he sees that he's getting something for free. It all makes sense now. Thank you all so much, you have been an amazing help!
sincerely,
xbx
xoxoxo