commitment issues??
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commitment issues??
| Sun, 12-14-2003 - 9:34pm |
i really need good advice here. i have been dating someone long distance for over a year.
it was kinda slow and rocky for a while. Then it started going really well. Seeing eachother more often, talking about me moving there. we were on a trial run of me staying there for a two week period. std's came up since he had a scare. then i spilled to him that i had hsv-2. we had been intimate for a year. he was angry at first but got over that. he also had unprotected sex with me a few times after i told him. since i left over a month ago the relationship has come to a halt. he said he wants to be tested but has not been tested and has not done any research. there are no plans to see eachother, although he still calls me all the time. he acts very confused about what he wants to do. i haven't pushed too hard, but he won't make plans for us to see eachother again because he is afraid to have sex. he says if he sees me again it is a major commitment. but he is also saying he really likes me alot and doesn't know what to do about it. i can tell his feelings for me are very strong and i definitely want this relationship to move forward. do you think it is really the hsv-2 or commitment issues? He calls me several times a day for the past year so we are very close even though we are geographically far away. i am not sure how to handle this? i really need this relationship to move forward, i feel stuck. up in the air? we discussed seeing eachother for new years vaguely. i want to bring it up again but don't want to pressure him. how can i approach this? i have explained the vius to him several times. HOW CAN I HELP HIM GET PAST THIS? PLEASE HELP!
it was kinda slow and rocky for a while. Then it started going really well. Seeing eachother more often, talking about me moving there. we were on a trial run of me staying there for a two week period. std's came up since he had a scare. then i spilled to him that i had hsv-2. we had been intimate for a year. he was angry at first but got over that. he also had unprotected sex with me a few times after i told him. since i left over a month ago the relationship has come to a halt. he said he wants to be tested but has not been tested and has not done any research. there are no plans to see eachother, although he still calls me all the time. he acts very confused about what he wants to do. i haven't pushed too hard, but he won't make plans for us to see eachother again because he is afraid to have sex. he says if he sees me again it is a major commitment. but he is also saying he really likes me alot and doesn't know what to do about it. i can tell his feelings for me are very strong and i definitely want this relationship to move forward. do you think it is really the hsv-2 or commitment issues? He calls me several times a day for the past year so we are very close even though we are geographically far away. i am not sure how to handle this? i really need this relationship to move forward, i feel stuck. up in the air? we discussed seeing eachother for new years vaguely. i want to bring it up again but don't want to pressure him. how can i approach this? i have explained the vius to him several times. HOW CAN I HELP HIM GET PAST THIS? PLEASE HELP!

I think it has more to do with the fact that you didn't tell him upfront that you had it...you were not completely honest with him, you lied by omission. I don't blame him for being worried, thinking things through, etc.
Carrie
I think it is pretty safe to say that this has nothing to do with committment issues and everything to do with you withholding important info that could have