Do I confess?
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Do I confess?
| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 8:07am |
Ok, the situation is that I've been going out with a wonderful man over 6 years, I can't fault him at all. We've talked about marriage and we both love each other very deeply. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. At the moment we're living overseas together which has brought us even closer. However, where I've been working, there's this guy who consistently flirts with me even though he knows I am committed to my partner. I, for some reason play along with the flirting. It's pretty terrible of me but this guy at work is quite charming and very funny. The other night I went out for a drink with him, which turned out to be many and before I knew it, I was quite drunk. Then this guy kissed me, and I didn't push him away but kissed him back -three times! Looking back, this was a big mistake and wish I could take it back. However I am racked with guilt and would like to clear my conscience. Should I tell my partner this happened or keep it a guilty secret? I feel terrible that I'm hiding this because our relationship has been built on trust and honesty. But if I tell my boyfriend, his image of me will be forever tarnished. What do I do?

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I agree with the other poster, I dont this would necisarrily make things any better for you right now, and your oqn guilt may be the best punishment. You need to be more responsible about putting yourself in those types of position. I would however, make sure this other guy knows that it was all
Think about this too - play with fire, you get burned. Getting drunk, being drunk, does NOT excuse your behavior. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions, enabling us to act on feelings, desires that we might otherwise keep in check. You did what you wanted to do. The desire to do so was there all along. So what are you going to do about that? Are you sure you are ready for a long-term, committed relationship?
I hope this situation gets resolved for you.
Carrie
Relieving yourself of guilt is a TERRIBLE reason to tell.
Don't tell because it would do more harm than good. I am all for honesty, but there are some times when it isn't the best course. The OP screwed up, feels terrible, and has vowed never to do it again. It's a learning experience - don't go out with a friend you are attracted to. Also, although I believe kissing is cheating, I don't think it's nearly as bad as actually having sex with another person.
A decision (which is not easy) must be made here. I feel for you. Choose to tell him and face the risk of loosing him or chose not to tell him and let it eat you up in side. In my own case I chose to tell and I would make that choice again even though the outcome was disasterous.
T
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