Keep it light or go deep?
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Keep it light or go deep?
| Wed, 12-17-2003 - 11:41am |
tomorrow i am meeting my ex? GF for lunch. she broke up with me a few days before thanksgiving -- very suddenly, without warning, after an intense year together when we slept together virtually every night and shared dinner, breakfast, drives to work, vacations -- EVERYTHING. Then, suddenly, she announced she was breaking up saying she needed time and space. we last saw each other about two weeks ago -- she said she loved me and hugged me. she had tears in her eyes as she left. i have honored her request for time and space, as tough as it is. My question is, regarding tomorrow, should i just keep it all light and happy, as if i've sort of moved on? Talk about our holiday plans, work, etc. and nothing deep about us? i really want to find out more, what she's thinking, where she's at, etc. but i also don't want to sound desperate or pushy. i love her so much. a couple of close friends have told me to not bring up anything about us -- just kep it light and on the surface. First of all, i'm not sure I can do that. I want to tell her that I love her and think about her all the time. i want to share where i'm at -- and hear where she's at. it seems wierd to not have that sort of discussion considering the depth of what we shared - that she should understand and expect, and maybe even want a conversation about us and where we're at. any suggestions?

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Then ask her. Don't play games and keep it light if you don't want to. I can't imagine that it will be light anyway. It sounds like your ex wants to talk.
You should be asking yourself what you really want to do if she tells you she wants to get back together.
Thanksgiving was'nt that long ago, so I think if you throw all of your feelings on her, you'll both get pushed back to square one and you dont want that.I understand how hard it is NOT to tell her how your feeling, or to somehow maintain a happy medium....but you need to, or cancel this whole meeting all together. I dont think she doesnt love you, but it sounds like with as much time as you guys were spending as a couple, she forgot how to be "her". Let her have time to find that, and Im bet she'll come around.
As for the "meeting", keep it light for the most past, let her in on what you've been up to, and give her a chance to tell you about how she's been.If she goes into the past between you guys, then talk about, if not, leave well enough alone and see if she comes around on her own.
Good luck,
and what will you do with this info if and when you get it?
I would completely follow her lead.
Sheri
Keep it light, tell he about what's going on in your life, listen if she tells you what is happening in hers and only talk about the serious stuff if she leads you there. Take it slow.
Best wished, T
Exactly the reason you need to find out and ask her what happened. You need closure not a guessing game of why she left or others opinions of why she left.It will help you to move on.
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