please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
please help
1
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 6:19pm
Me and my partner met in highschool and dated for a year. I broke up with him when i went to college...because i wanted to experience life for myself and also i wasn't ready to give up my parents for him at age 18.(We are two different races) During our relationship i grew extremely close to his best friend...and most of the time when we were together...we spent our time as the three of us. It was like we the three musketeers. Anyways a week after i broke up with my partner...his best friend came to visit...and kissed me...a lot. Nothing happened...we just kissed. And then i stopped it...and said i couldn't do this with him. In the beganning i wanted to tell my partner what happened...but his best friend pleaded with me not to...because he thought it would throw away his friendship with him. So i didn't say anything. Two years past...and we remained friends...and then seven months ago we got back together. I was ready to give up my family and we talked a lot about marriage...we couldn't deny the fact we had feelings for eachother. We took a break...just give eachother some space to ourselves...nothing serious...just a simple break from seeing eachother constantly. During this time...The best friend told my partner what happened two years ago...and now its all over. He doesn't trust me...he feels betrayed. He thinks i am a horrible person. The things he says to me...are beyond painful. I know i shouldn't feel sorry for myself. But i will do anything to get him back. I love him so much...and i can't live my life without him. What do i do? How do i console him? How do i fix this? I understand you are all people that have been hurt by someone...and i am the enemy. But im in desprate need of advice. Please...someone help

Avatar for autumnleaves22
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ikappy21
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 1:33am
I feel that the only thing that you can do is to be honest with him and have a good talk and tell him what you said here. Admit that it was wrong not to tell him about the kssing thing with his friend - own up to it and ask that he forgive you. If it is meant to be - he should be able to see it in his heart to give it a go again.

But you will have to build up your trust so that he will be able to trust you again. Much hard work is ahead if you both want it to work. If he will not try agin, then you will have to accept it and move on, you can't force a person to feelthe way in which you want them to. It will be hard at first, but many others have gone through the same thing and survived it. I wish you much luck with your situation. Keep us posted...

Sherri