I feel like an unfunny cartoon....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
I feel like an unfunny cartoon....
3
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 4:25am
Hi All,

This is my first time posting and boy is it a doozie. First of all I am married to a man that I only see on weekends. He moved me to the mountains which is 2 1/2 hours from his work because the property is cheaper here. He first told me he would drive it every day which he did the first three months. I realized it was too much for him and he decided he would come home on Wednesdays and weekends. That lasted only a few months and now he comes home on weekends. During the weekdays he stays at his ex wifes home with their three kids. I trust him and know for a fact there is nothing going on between them so that isn't the problem. We have the children every other weekend here. I only have 4 days a month alone with him. This is the second home he has bought and the downstairs has a separate apartment. He wanted to rent it and ran into my ex boyfriend which happened to be looking for a place to live and my husband rented the downstairs to him. My ex still has feelings for me and his work is seasonal which means he is here a lot. I am not working due to medical problems so we alone a lot. I know this sounds like a crazy arrangement and is. I feel really weird about it all. My ex is doing all the work around here and cleaning the house even. Is my husband pushing me back toward my ex or his he just not wanting me to be lonely. He says he dearly loves me but I rarely see him. I feel like I am going insane at times. My ex still has feelings for me and I know that is why he rented the downstairs apartment. I don't have feelings for my ex and dearly love my husband but I never see the man. He said we can sell the house an move closer to his work but I hate it there and now love the mountains where we live now.

I can not move again. I am too tired. This is our third time moving in 11 months. I love it here and want to stay should we seek counseling or call it quits? I am dazed and confused to say the least. He calls me once a day and the conversation lasts two minutes. I feel like I am wasting my life. Any suggestions? I am tired, hurting and am deeply depressed.

Thanks,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 12:39pm

My heart goes out to you, but I cant understand why he is living with his ex, whether there are children involved or not.It seems like he has a hidden aganda here and im not exactley sure what it is. I suggest that you let him know how this is making you feel, and if you've told him before- tell him again.


Bottom line is that you are living a lonely life right now and it doesnt have to be that way just so you can look at your lovely mountianous home everyday.You deserve better.


**marsexpert**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 12:44pm
While you are tired (and I hear you) if you want your marriage to work, I think it's best that you move.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 12:56pm

Hi Rose,


You're right, this was