In need of help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
In need of help
2
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 11:55am
Hi! I´ve posted here before...

I have been dating my guy for over 3 years now, in march he broke up because he saw we didnt have any plans together as a couple and that I treat him like a friend not partner. After a couple of month we gave it another try. At first, it was step by step, we were doing great, went on holidays together, had wonderful times. Now things are bad again. I am going through some serious changes in my life that are affecting me enormously, so Im very emotional right now, that what I need help.

My bf is working were I used too, and now he is friends with some guy and this girl from his area. They go on lunch together, he went to her graduation party with the other guys, etc. Today they are having a big party from office (not dates allowed), so i asked him to have lunch with me, he told me he has already made plans, that he will have lunch with me tomorrow... I was vivid!!! He made plans with this new group of friends he made from work which heis going to see today at the party!! And couldnt cancel to al least see me a while??!! Those are his priorities?!

My psichologist says I´m needing too much, feeling so vulnerable that I´m taking on him. Do you think so too?! or should I worried ?!

I´m not saying his is cheating because the weekends are ours, he offer to spend xmas with my family and me and stuff....but can he be emotionally cheating?! Or i´m just to f...jealous??!!!

Please, I need your point of view not matter how hard it is...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 1:05pm

I think with the holidays and all the other emotional stress you've been under, itmay have started to cloud your judgement here. You cant take things like this personnally, I think all it came down to was you BF made plans with someone else before you.He might not have seen it as a huge deal because he can always go to lunch with you the NEXT day, as to where this may have been the last time he could go to lunch and celebrate someones graduation, etc. with the whole work "crew".


Try not to take things so personnally, although i know when emothions are running high its hard not too.If your concerned about not seeing him that much at all, not just this particular day, why dont you guys set aside one day a week to spend with each other?(ex: my fiance and I set aside sundays to veg out all day together).


Good luck,

cl-marsexpert

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 1:13pm
When in a relationship we all like to know we are #1 - yet you can't set someone else's priorities for them. Have you calmly told your bf how you feel? That you feel second best, that you feel left out that he's having so much fun without you....

You also need to make your own fun! Meet some new people, friends, etc.

Reading material to consider:

Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse

How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny, by Joyce Meyer

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon

The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen

The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz

What Smart Women Know, Steven Carter & Julia Sokol

Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti, Bill & Pam Farrel

Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis

All Men are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, Daylle Deanna Schwartz (not what you think)

My best to you.


Carrie