Need some Help with what is really going

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Need some Help with what is really going
3
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 3:08pm
OK this is a very complicated situation. I have been in a "relationship" with a man for approximately 5 months. We are both married, however both of us are currently physically seperated from our spouses and will be for about another 6 months. I am extremely happily married to what I would consider my soul mate. The other man is headed; from all indicators; for a divorce when we get back home. This man is a total sweetheart, we are very close friends, and are currently intimate. My dilemma is this, he knows that I am happily married and will go home to my life before the physical seperation occured. He on the other hand will gome home to a totally different life from what he had. He has continued to tell me that he will not do anything to jeopardize my marriage. I truly care for this person very much and want to do anything to help him through this. He has told me several times if it weren't for me, he would be an emotional mess. Is it fair for me to continue to be intimate with this man, or in the long run, am I doing more harm than good???? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 3:18pm
I'm confused. You are seperated from your husband who you are happily married to? You mean like, you went on assignment oversees for six months-type seperated, right? Not emotionally? You don't seem very apologetic for having an affair. How can you be happily married and cheating on your husband. No, I would say you cannot continute to have an intimate relationship with this other man. You should fix your own marriage first. Either leave him or try to fix things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 3:39pm
OK didn't really want to get into this part of things, but yes I am on an overseas assignment. I am physically seperated from my husband but by no means emotionally seperated, this is my soul mate I love him, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with my relationship with him. My husband, who knows me better than anyone on the face of the earth has given me permission to get what I need physically. Only stipulation is that he does not get details, and I come back home at the end of my assignment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 6:05pm
Ok, so you have an open relationship. Very interesting...but to each his own. Then I would say that unless the wife of the man you are seeing has the same policy as your husband, you should end this affair. Even though the relationship is in turmoil, that doesn't give you the right to have an affair with this man. So, just out of curiosity, you don't care if your husband gets physical with another woman while you are away?