sexual assault

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
sexual assault
2
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 12:50am
Without boring you with the details, I'm having a bad day and although the assault happened at least 4 years ago I can't get it out of my mind today. I think that I haven't dealt with it properly. My question is I wasn't raped, not anywhere near it. I was staying at a friends house and her roommate (who was sharing a bed wit his fiance at the time) entered my room and touched me under the blanket. I stoppd up to him and it didn't go any further. The friends I told at the time laughed it off and I feel like my feelings for this situation are invalide, is that true - everybody always talks about sexual assault as rape. I am really confused at the moment and would like some guidance. Please.
Avatar for autumnleaves22
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 1:07am
I think you were right to feel that his touching of you was not right.

He did it without you knowing he was going to do it and it was very inappropriate. You feeling this was is valid. He could have kept going and it could have turned into sexual assualt, but thankfully it didn't!

Your friends probably laughed about it because they were uncomfortable with facing upto what their friend had done and confronting him about this issue. It was easier for them to laugh abotu it and act like it was nothing or that it never happened. Many times laughter is in place of feeling nervous or being unsure of what you are feeling, so I think this is why they tried to laugh it off. To address the issue would have been too hard for them. With maturity comes the ability to address issues with more reality.

You were right to feel what you did. Just be careful in the future in circumstances such as that one - lock your door! It was a scarey situation for you and that is why you still think about it. Are these people still your friends as it's 4 years later and are they still so immature acting? Just wondering...

But to answer your question - yes to me sexual assault is rape or trying to rape someone.

Sherri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 8:14am
I was sexually assaulted in august 1994 on a second date - I was not raped. I don't focus on it but it definitely changed how careful I was after that about going to a man's apartment - and after 9 years, 3 weeks ago I saw him again at a party and he tried to chat me up and did not recognize me - ewl - which probably means he's done that many times (or else he probably would have remembered) - he is on a dating site and I have warned my friends about him. Your feelings are your feelings but if you let it get under your skin so to speak again and again you let him win again and again.