do i tell him??
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 12-27-2003 - 9:35am |
so last night im out with my friends and we got really drunk, just trashed, and the band is playing and the flirtations are flying and flirting is harmless and the attention feels so nice and a friend of a friend ends up driving me home and we're both so incredibly drunk and he walks me in and....yah, i cheated. its the morning after now and of course i regret it deeply, i do love my boyfriend. it didnt mean anything, it was just sex, it was just one night...and i honestly dont know if my relationship would survive this news. and i honestly dont know if my relationship would survive this staying a secret. though im thinking it has a better chance of surviving if i take this secret to my grave.
so do i tell him?? ugh, what have i done :(

also please consider taking a hard look at whether you have a drinking problem.
i said we've been together awhile...we've been friends for years, but made an exclusive committment just about 3 months ago. so i guess technically its pretty early in the relationship, though with the length of our friendship neither of us ever saw ourselves ever breaking up now that we finally got together. and as for the drinking problem, no...i dont have one. there's the problem i guess. i never drink. i never did. i commuted to catholic nursing school, never had any wild college days or anything. i went to christian high school, my group of friends never partied. this is the first time i have my own apartment, all my friends were going "clubbing"...i dont know why i thought i was missing something by never having experienced a "binge-drinking blast", but ill never do it again. i dont ever remember half the night, only that i was acting like a total f-ing idiot. /sigh
ive decided not to tell him. because telling him would destroy him, i know that. i dont know if we're "meant to be forever", time will tell i guess. doing the long distance thing is very hard and im lonely, but i didnt cheat on him because of a problem in the relationship. i dont react to any problems we have with some passive-agressive move like cheating. it wasnt in response to something going on between him and i, it wasnt a reaction to some deep issue. it was just a mistake, one that i will live in regret with the rest of my life and probably be bawling about in the privacy of my bedroom for i dont know how long...was a horrible lesson to learn.
birth control is covered, my boyfriend and i are always careful and i take the pill. i have an appointment with planned parenthood monday to get checked for std's. honestly, i cant even remember if i used a condom or not. /sigh i cant remember hardly anything. and he wont be here to visit me over his semester break for a few weeks yet, so ill have my results before he comes.
If you are going to have a good relationship with this man in the future, you will ahve to find a way to work through this issue together.
And no, I don't think it was simply a one time mistake. I think you are still young and not ready to be commited to a relationship. If you are cheating on your bf after only three months of commitment, then I think there are more serious issues underneath.
Good luck!