Fighting with DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fighting with DH
2
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 9:18am
Okay, I got caught in a manipulation (not really a lie). Yesterday Dh and I were supposed to go out with friends. Our babysitting sitch was questionable, I called my parents they couldn't, as opposed to calling my MIL, which was my Dh's choice (I don't get along with my MIL, and my kids don't like it when she sits...they'd rather have the sitter), I let it slide and decided to take a chance with the sitter. I spoke to my MIL during the day and didn't mention anything to her about sitting. About 3 hours before the time we were supposed to go out, my husband refused to have the sitter and threatend to not go out if the sitter came. I cancelled him, and tried to get intouch with my MIL, but was unsuccesful, so I cancelled the plans for the evening. My Dh found out I did speak to my MIL earlier in the day, but didn't mention anything (he was only annoyed earlier when I chose not to call), and now he is pissed and not talking to me.

I was thinking of throwing myself on his mercy, begging for forgiveness and promising to make it up to him and my MIL. I hate when he gives me the cold shoulder. I feel like I am a horrible person. What do you think?

JKM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 1:50pm
Sounds like a case of 'you can't please everyone'

You had a sitter lined up and your husband vetoed it, why? Sure he would prefer family over a sitter, but you were taking into consideration your feelings about MIL and the kids feelings regarding MIL (however, on this one, depending on their ages, tough. Many times my grandmother watched us and my sister hated it, but it wasn't about us, it was about my parents getting a night off.)


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Mon, 12-29-2003 - 4:19pm
When the MIL problems begin interefering with your relationship with DH, it is time to address the issues YOU have with HER. Your DH and kids are not part of the problem, they are caught in the crossfire and reacting as such. Playing duck and run from your MIL only prolongs the problem...If you want to patch things up with DH for real, a good first step would be to give MIL a call and invite her to have a heart to heart.