I don't know anymore
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I don't know anymore
| Wed, 02-04-2004 - 9:47pm |
I've been going out with my boyfriend for a month now, and we've been really good friends for years before we started dating. When we hang out at his house we talk and laugh alot- we have a great time. Unfortunalty when we're in public we just act like friends and don't talk much. When we see eachother during the day we talk a little and then say our goodbyes... but he doesn't hug or kiss me, he just pats me on the back. I thought this was weird. At first I didn't really think anything of it, I just that he wasn't comfortable with showing PDA and that was fine with me. But as the closer we get and the longer we date the more it bothers me. I don't really know what to do anymore. I know that men show thier feelings differently than women do, but it just makes me a little upset. When the conversation dies down should I start it back up again or wait for him to do it? Should I confront him about this or should I let it roll off my back and hope it gets better in a couple of weeks? Please write back. Thanks!
Sam

I would be nervous too in this scenario. The problem with being friends for such a long time is that it probably overrode some of the initial passion you would have felt had you started dating immediately.
Have you considered taking some of the initiative on the physicalness? Perhaps if you make the environment more physical he will follow suit.
Men vary in their levels of interest in PDA, you're right, and it might be that this guy might not like it as much as you. You need to weigh how important this is to you in the scheme of things, considering he sounds like a wonderful guy above all of this.
Well, if this is something that really bothers you and you feel is a valid concern, I would never "let it roll" off anything.This is something that needs to be dealt with before it snoballs into something much larger.
Even though you've been friends for much longer than you've been dating, you still only have been together a month.He may not be as comfortable with pda's as you yet, give him some time.And, even then, there are still people that dont like to kiss or anything is public, it by far does not mean that he doesnt care, just that he chooses to not display his affection to you in public.
Let him know that your not sure if this is something that just makes him uncomfortable, or if its YOU that is doing something to make him feel this way . See if there is anything you can do to make the transition from friends to more any easier for him.