out of town boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
out of town boyfriend
3
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 11:27am
My boyfriend is out of town on a business trip. We've been together almost a year come next month, he usually calls me everyday, even when he's out of town. He's been out of town going on three weeks now, and before he went out of town he was lovey dovey with me, but since he's been out of town his conversations have been less than 5 minutes with me and he only has been calling me every other day or every two days. What do you think about the situation and what do you think I should do?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 11:32am

Well, clearly he's wanting some space right now, according to his behavior. Give it to him. Don't chase him. You can be brief yourself when he calls, or maybe not even there to answer. I do not say this to suggest you play games, but when someone behaves this way, it is best not to start chasing and confronting them about it over the phone. Be attentive to how you feel now and respect your own feelings. You feel confused, a bit hurt, rejected maybe? Resepct yourself and take care of yourself now. Wait until he comes back for a face to face discussion. Some men are not able to talk about feelings with their partners and he may have been harboring other feelings about the relationship or issues that he has not handled. Now that he is away, he may feel freer to act upon them.


Take good care of yourself and let what happens next simply be revealed.


Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 11:54am
Thank you for your advice. I've been doing just that and trying to give him his space even though it has been hard. And yes right now since he's been acting this way I do feel regected. I find myself wanting to tell him how I feel when he calls, and tell him that I love him and miss him but I don't, because I feel right now that won't help matters. I know he's thinking about me because I saw that he looked at my page I have on another website, but that doesn't help me in knowing what's going through his head.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 1:00pm
I travel for business and sometimes I don't call my husband a whole lot. I generally call him every day and talk for a couple minutes, sometimes it's every other day. It just depends. Sometimes there isn't a whole lot to talk about and I am tired. Sometimes I don't get back to the hotel until late and due to the time difference it's not a good time to call. Calling from overseas is pretty expensive so I try to keep that to a minimum.

I don't think you should do anything about him not calling a lot when he's gone. I don't think his feelings for you changed overnight.