My boyfriend has changed

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
My boyfriend has changed
1
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 7:54pm
I've been in a relationship for almost a year come next month. My boyfriend just called me from out of town on a business trip and said he needed to talk to me when he gets in on Sunday. I asked him was it about our relationship, he said yes. I then asked him if he wanted to break up he said yes, because he's not feeling the relationship. I told him I'm willing to stick in there and work it out, while he goes through whatever he's going through. See he told me a month ago he never had a chance to hell from separating from his wife a few years back. We are supposed to talk about everything in depth on Sunday. I'm just not ready to give up on the relationship, besides there are kids involved in this my child and his child, and we've all become real close to one another. I love him deeply and he loves me too. Could someone help me with this.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 2:07pm
It's always a mistake to include your children in a relationship unless it is certain to be heading for marriage, and this is why - both children have formed attachments and will be affected by a potential break up - but that's not a good enough reason to stick at it in your case. These aren't children you have together, and if he's not happy and doesn't want to work it out - nothing you say or do will change that.

The best thing you can do, in the hopes that he will come around and realize that he does want to be with you, is to totally back off, and cut off contact - tell him not to e-mail or call unless he wants to get back together with you with the intention of getting married in the future.

In future, (if this one doesn't work out) - leave your child(ren) out of your dating life until you really are certain that you are in a relationship headed towards marriage - much healthier for the child.

Peace - Pebbles