NEED ADVICE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
NEED ADVICE!!!
1
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 3:01pm
I have been talking to a guy for about 2 months, but he doesn't live in the same state as me, he lives about 6hrs. away. We went to highschool together so we somewhat know each other and we started talking when he was home for Christmas Break. Well my friends brother told me that this guy has a girlfriend that he goes to school with and when he leaves they break up, but when he goes back to college they get back together. Right now he's on a internship away from his college and then he graduates in May. So I asked him about the girl and he said it was an off and on relationship and that it's definatly off for good and has been since August. And this weekend I went to visit him and saw a picture of him and his ex in his wallet, it was in the place where your license would be. And his license got taken away about two weeks ago so I was thinking maybe the picture was underneath there, but then the cops took his license so now the picture is showing. But I just would think he would take it out. And I'm not really sure what our relationsip status is, it never really bothered me to know because he's so far away, I figured that we would talk about when he comes home in May. I mean we talk everyday on the phone and he came home the weekend of my birthday and I just went to see him. And he has invited me to go to his college with him and wants me to go there in the end of March, so if he was hiding something I don't think he would bring me there. Do u think I should ask him about the picture or forget about it for now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 3:34pm
The only way to know the status of your relationship is to discuss it with HIM. Until you both discuss and agree to an exclusive, monogamous relationship, assume you don't have one. It sounds as if he likes you and may just be casually dating you (and possibly others too). You have to discuss those things to know how the other person feels about them.

I think that when your relationship is based mostly on long distance phone calls, it's hard to really get to "know" that person. I think in that circumstance you probably feel like you know him better than you actually do. IMO time spent together, and lots of it, is really the only way you can get to know the real person, and become close on a deeper level. But that's just me -- I'd never even embark on a LDR b/c I know it's not for me. Good luck.