Would like peoples opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
Would like peoples opinion
2
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 2:14pm
Hi

My problem is that my husband talks a lot and I don't feel like I am able to cope with it. We start a conversation and it seems he is always right with whatever he says and I am always wrong. I'm not saying I am always right but I hate always being wrong. I've tried putting my points across but he is much more eloquent and refuses to ever accept he could be wrong. Sometimes it can turn into a nasty row. He also starts explaining everything to me and lecturing on things which annoys me. If I ask him to stop, even politely, he takes offense and gets hurt. He also wants to talk a lot about politics and technical things which I have absolutely no interest in and continues for hours regardless of how I react. I have tried to show interest in the things he likes and even read up on them but it hasn't helped and starting conversations on my interests either falls flat or results in a lecture. Sometimes after a conversation it feels like I have been run over by a truck. I am not sure if the problem is mine or his or both.

Thnaks for your help,

Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 3:26pm
Hi. Your husband sounds very similar to my father. I experienced his bad attitude first hand but being his child, your always going to be lectured. But I watched my mother put up with it and I know how difficult living with someone like that can be. I would suggest that you try counseling. But thats if he will even listen to you ...and if he does he may not think its needed. Perhaps you could try counseling on your own and learn ways to better get your point across or how to deal with this. But you must do something. It may not seem like grounds for divorce but you cant live with someone who treats you like a child, talks to you like your an idiot and devalues your every say. Its a control freak issue and it needs to stop. If he refuses therapy and wont validate your feelings or acknowledge that you are upset and hurt then Im sorry but he isnt a very good husband and you only have a bleak future with someone like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 3:40pm

It seems like for whatever reason, he acts like this with you, as if you were is child, rather than his SO. By you continually allowing him to do this (and by that i mean not putting your foot down, not that you want him to treat you this way), he thinks its acceptable.


I think counseling is a very good idea, even if its just you attending.If nothing else, it wilol teach you how to break free from him treating him you like this.